Friday, December 31, 2010

New Year's Rockin Eve!

  Tonight's the night.  It's the party night to end the present year.  I use to hammer down on New Year's Eve every year.  My lord did I have fun.  I think.  They call this night "amateur night."  What that means is that people of all kinds come out to get drunk because it's the worlds largest party.
    I sit here trying to remember what a New Year's Party was like.  It hasn't been to long since I got my freak on.  We used to go out at about 8pm to get the party started.  We used to walk in and scope out the bar to check for the hottest chicks.  We used to get dressed up hoping that these hot chick notice us.
    It's about 8:30pm when some more of your friends show up at the party.  You sit around talking and goofing about nothing.  After a few drinks, you get that one buddy who decides this party needs some action.  Here come the shots! Lord have mercy we need shots!  What takes 3 beers to do, 1 shot will do it faster.  You look up at the clock and notice it's 10pm now.  2 hours till the New Year!  
    About this time the bar is hopping.  Girls are out on the dancing shaking what their momma's gave them.  You look up and there more people then is allowed.  Your screaming to be able to keep a conversation.  IT's party time!  About this time another friend at the bar who you've haven't seen awhile sends another round of shots to your table.  Well Goddamn what a nice guy!
   You look over in the corner are 4 hot looking gals chit chatting with not a care in the world.  You tell the waitress to send over a round drinks for these fine looking ladies.  They get the drinks and wave at you and your friends.  Next thing you know, you and your friends are walking over to their table with more drinks in hand.  It's hitting 11pm and your starting to feel good.  You and your friends are talking with the hotties and you order another round of shots.  
    Thats when you get brave. You look at the beautiful brunette and ask her to dance.  Your out on the dance floor shaking your thang.  She's looking even better as you swig your beer while dancing.   Your looking over at your friends and they are giving you the "thumbs up".  Now your one tough son of a bitch who's turning on this sweet thing your dancing with.  She reaches in and whispers in your ear that your kind of cute.
    You and your new friend get back to the table.  MORE SHOTS!   It's 11pm and this party is starting to get going.  You look over at your friend Zeke and he's tounging some blonde's ear while twists her nipples.  I can't tell if she's drunk or really into this shit.  You look over at the other side of the table and their is your other friend Kent rubbing some red head's inner thigh.  She's kissing his cheek and trying to force feed him a martini.  I can't tell if he knows what he's doing but I think he's getting the hang of it.
     3 more beers and it's time for you to go piss.  You get up from the table and head to the bathroom.  Since it's a packed house tonight it's wall to wall people trying to move around.  About this time your feeling kind of queezy.  Your about ready to piss your pants and the line isn't moving.  In front of you is the biggest leather clad biker you've ever seen.  Your shaking in your pants because you have to piss.  Your stomach is churning because it's upset from the booze.  One of two things are going to happen.  Your either going to piss or puke.  About this time you let if fly.  Vomit all over the back of the leather jacket of the huge biker dude.  
    You turn around and slink your way back to the table.  When you get back there's another shot waiting for you.  While sitting at the table you unzip your pants and kind of piss on the floor.  No one's going to notice because it's under a table and it's dark.  You look over at your friends and by this time they've switched dates and are both playing tonsil hockey with the girls.
     About this time the hottie you've been flirting with leans over and whispers in your ear. "I have a touch of gas."  Because your buzzed and kind of horny all you hear is... "I need you to fuck my ass."  It's 11:35pm and your pretty much fucked up.  You lean into the girl your with and tell her how you want to lick her where she pee's.  She gives you that look of either fuck off or fuck me!
    Time for more shots.  You look over and notice Zeke is passed out.  Kent is rambling on about how he is the next leader of the free world.  Your looking deep into your gal's eyes telling her how you need to tickle her taint with your tounge.  My lord above your a true gentleman!  I look into her eyes once again and tell her..."There's a special place for me with you."  She smiles and being drunk winks.  She then asks where is the special place..  "Your pussy" I say.
    11:50pm and your drunker then a midget at a high jump contest.  Shit is out of balance now boy!  Kent is stuttering how he's got no money as i watch $10,000.00 fall out of his wallet.  Zeke is passed out talking in his sleep.  He's muttering something about if he doesn't get the dog home by noon his pee pee will fall off.  What the fuck has this boy been smoking?  11:52pm  I puke.  Shit happens.  My new love luckily didn't see.  She was to busy adjusting her boobs.  What for you ask?  Fuck if I know!
   11:53pm.  Zeke pisses himself.    11:54pm Kent shit's himself.  11:55 my new girl looks in my eyes and tells me she needs me.  Next thing you know in her drunken stupor she starts rubbing my junk.  *gulp*  About this time Kent yells at the top of his lungs.  "I'm not gay, I'm just happy!"  11:57pm my new girl keeps rubbing my wiener.  *gulp*   For some reason my "little buddy" is at full attention now.  
    Next thing you know, my new girl rubbing harder and faster.  "What the fuck is she doing?"  At this time I'm thinking i'm going to get some tonight!  Hell yeah!  Fuck yeah!  I'm the man!  11:59 and my new girl has stopped rubbing Senior' PePe.  Thats ok in my book.  Time for the New Year's kiss.  COUNTDOWN PEOPLE!  Were at 3 and I can't find my new girl.  I look and look.  Then i see her sucking off the new waiter.  What a cunt!  2  I'm pissed and what am I going to do?  Do I kick her in the twat?  Do I run for the door?  OH shit time is getting closer!  
    1!!!!!  Happy New Year!!!!   Well hell I think.  What a way to bring in 2011!  It's then I whip out my little buddy and piss down the back of the new girl sucking off the waiter.  Happy New Year to you honey!   I can't wait till 2012!

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