Wednesday, December 1, 2010

24 Days till Christmas

We've got 24 days till Christmas and I think it's time for me to let my list for Santa be known.  I think I've been good this year.  Ok Ok Ok Ok.. Maybe not good.. Kind of ornery but in a good way!  I've tried to do good by the man above.  I've tried to make a difference in someone's life.  I've been trying to be nice all year.  The only bitching and ranting I ever do is on here with this goddamn blog!
   Like I said, Christmas is coming in 24 days.  I love the Holiday Season.  I love the way kids look during the season.  Bright eyes and smiles abound.  This makes me smile more then anything else.  I love to give presents.  I love to see the looks on peoples faces when I give them presents.  It's not an ego thing, it's a love thing.  I might be an asshole most of the time but I love to make people happy.  I love to make people think about life.  I love to make people have a good time.  With Christmas, we can have a good time.  Serve the Lord and serve each other.  Thats how I feel.  
   Alot of people have been asking me what I want for Christmas.  First response I give is... "I don't fucking know!"  Then I get to thinking.  I love to recieve presents and all but I've really never gave it a thought.  Well now I'm thinking!   The one thing I love is my family!  I love my parents.  I love my inlaws.  I love my children.  I love beer!  I seen a beer belt on t.v. the other day and fell in love with it.  I'm thinking this is the coolest thing in the world!
   I could take my new beer belt to ballgames.  No more worries about sneaking beer into the games.  I could cover the beer with my coat.  Why in God's name would I pay $6.00 for a beer when I can reach down into my belt and grab a cold one?  I could fill my beer belt right before church.  Why not get a buzz on when the preacher is talking bullshit about life and then wanting my money for his/her collection plate?
  I'm thinking this beer belt thing could make my life happier by the day.  I could fill my beer belt and go to the grocery store.  I could fill my beer belt and go to the bank.  I could fill my beer belt and go the police department and no one would know!  My lord above I need the beer belt!
   I throw some ice packs around my groin and the beer belt will stay cold at all times.  My cock my shrink but thats ok!  My beer's cold and I'm fucking happy!  BEER BELT!! I NEED A BEER BELT!!!  I pray above that my mother hears my needs!  I need a beer belt!


  1. You work at Tru Value. Just buy a Tool belt and modify it. Get creative!

  2. You don't get it son! I want presents! Jeesh you need to get with the program!