Friday, February 11, 2011

A McDonald's tale.

  Today wasn't any thing out of the ordinary.  I had the day off and when my beautiful wife got home from work we decided to go out for lunch.  It's something we pretty much do each and every day.  After lunch, we run a few errands then it's time to pick up my daughter from school.  
   Knowing my daughter, I offer to take her to McDonald's after we pick her up from school.  She's down with that so we proceed to get her something to munch on.  As usual we go through the drive thru and make our order.  After a few minutes we drive up to the window and get our food.  
    It's when we are driving away I decide to make sure that we got everything we ordered.  I'm not the biggest fan of McDonald's but my kid just loves it.  So as usual I order an UNsweetened Iced Tea.  As usual they give me the wrong drink.  Normally I drink what they give me but today it pisses me off.
     I look at the wife as we have driven almost two blocks away and tell her to turn the car around.  She gives me that look of "what in God's name are you doing?" then turns the car around.  As we pull back into the parking lot I'm cussing to myself, wondering what I'm going to do or say.  I get out of the car with drink in hand and go inside.
     As I stand in line waiting a young gal comes up and asks me how she can help me.  At this point I'm impressed with her customer service skills.  I tell her my plight of the tea mess up and she then tells me she'll take care of it.   This young lady then goes over and starts to pour me another drink when a "manager" type of gal tells her to give me a cup and have me pour my own drink.
     This little fat bitch then looks at me with that look of "fuck off".  It's now I'm really pissed!  I go and get my own drink and then tell the first gal thank you for all of her help and I'm sorry that her superior is a pathetic answer to management.  Then I turn and walk away.  About this time I hear the first gal telling another manager about how she was taking care of my miscue.  
     After this girl starts talking the fat "cunt" that over ruled her starts speaking up.  Now it's time for me to turn around and take care of some business.  I tell the "overall" manager that his employee did a fantastic job of taking care my problem.  I told him that his fat cunt secondary manager needs to check herself and learn some manners and customer service abilities.  Then the two bit fat whore rolls her eyes at me!
    I'm usually really calm in these situations until today.  This is when I let this retarded cunt know whats going on!  I proceed to let her know that she'll never be anything more then a "secondary" manager at a McDonald's.  She'll most likely live on the welfare most of her life because no man in his right mind will want nothing to do with her unless it involves a blow job.
   I let her know that most likely that she was born out of wedlock because her mother was nothing more then a two bit whore needing some loving or some extra cash for some cheap smokes.  I then tell her I wouldn't fuck her even if I were dead or high on heroin.  Actually both are about the same!    What people need to understand is that if you work in retail, the customer isn't always right but they are the people who are paying your goddamn salary! 
     I work in retail.  I manage in retail.  The customer is always your number one priority! Make the customer happy and they will return.  Make the customer happy and they will let your immediate bosses know how good of a job your doing.  Make the customers happy and you will make it far.  If your not making the customers happy, then your pretty much swimming up shit creek.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

More Facebook bullshit.

 I have a Facebook account.  Hell, who doesn't?  If you don't have a facebook account, your pretty much dead.  I'll be honest, I check my shit on there every day.  I will say this though.  I am not addicted!
    I've been watching this craze for awhile now and I've got to be honest, this shit is down right stupid.  First things first.  I've got a few friends on my friends list. My friends list isn't very big and I don't want it to big.  I can honestly say that everyone on my friends list is someone I know. When I look at other friends pages, sometimes I'll see someone else I might know and haven't added to my friends list.  I look at their pages and notice that some people have over 1,000 friends.
    I call bullshit!  I've known alot of people in my life.  I come from a really large family on both my mother and father.  I work in retail.  I'm a salesman with tons of meeting potential and I promise you that I do not know over 1,000 people!  That's just plain ass bullshit!  Then there's the people who live their goddamn lives on this facebook shit.  Who gives a fuck if your son just won a medal at the "lesbian wannabe Olympics!"
     What about the idiots that make "friends" with famous people on facebook?  You know the ones.  The ones who have say Paul McCartney as a friend and comment on everything that is written about Paul just like they were best friends.  Wanna know something idiot?  The famous people have hired hands to do the facebook for them.  If your famous, how much time would you actually have to hang out on there?
     What about the people who air their private shit on facebook?  I mean straight up trailer park shit going on here people!   "My baby's daddy gets out of jail today!"  "He's going to come home and we be going to make more babies!"  "That will give us 11 kiddos before we are 30 years old!"  People who do this are fucking retarded in bred assholes who need to be dropped off on an island!
    Then there's the person who thinks they are alot better then others.  You know the ones.  The ones who show you what they are having for dinner every night by showing you a pic of it.  I think the next time I drop a deuce I'm going to take a pic of it and call it "poopoo pie".  Fuck picture takers!
   What about the idiots that want to invite you to all of their games?  Here's what I think.  TAKE YOUR GAMES AND SHOVE THEM UP YOUR FUCKING ASS!  Just sayin....  What about the people who want to remember everything from the past and can't get into the now or the future?  Leave all of the old time photos and shit behind.  Jump on the NOW train and welcome to here.  It's that fucking simple.  
    If someone wants to know anything about you, most will ask.  You don't need to advertise your life to everyone in the world.  Please keep Facebook a cool thing to use for social networking.  If you can't do that please fuck off and die!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Is Lindsay Lohan really that stupid?

Our favorite Hollywood young diva is at it again.  Lindsay Lohan is being charged with felony theft in L.A.   Lohan reportedly stole some kind of bobble worth a reported $2500.00.  
    Now if you remember, this isn't the first time Lohan has been in trouble.  She's had drunken driving charges.  Dope charges.  Been to court ordered rehab not once but twice.  She's a straight up Hollywood skank.  The dumbest thing is that she just got out of jail and rehab not to long ago.
    If by chance you did steal Ms. Lohan, your a straight up dumb cunt.  You've had all the chances in the world.  For the life of me, I can't figure out why.  First of all your pretty ugly.  Being a red head makes it worse.  You've had your share of Hollywood cock.  Hell you've had your share of pussy.  One day your in love with some Hollywood hunk wannabe.  The next day your in love with some dyke d.j.  Make up my fucking mind Lindsay!
    I can't figure it out.  One day your sucking cock and loving every minute of it.  The next day your a full blown lesbian.  If this is your way of getting more attention thrown on you, people are getting pretty fucking sick of it.  Do me a favor whore.  Get your shit together so you can do another retarded Disney movie.  Maybe by the time you get your shit together everyone will have forgotten you.
    If by chance you get off of the felony charge I hope you can enter rehab and actually try and get cured.  If by chance you do get found guilty I hope you get 25 years in prison or even better the judge tries to help out the world and orders the death penalty for you.
    If I had my way bitch it would be death by electric chair!

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Poor A-Rod

Alex Rodriguez and his girlfriend Cameron Diaz were seen together at last Sunday's Super Bowl.  Both were seen in VIP suites watching the game when Diaz decides to feed Rodriguez some popcorn.  Ahhhh Now that's cute.  They must be in love or she likes to think she's his mommy.
   We all know that the Packers went on to beat the Steelers in Super Bowl XLV.  What happens now is funny as hell to me.  It's been reported today that A-Rod is pissed off at the FOX camerman for showing this on national tv during the most watched show in the world.
    Ok Mr. A-Puss, were you pissed off when you most likely got the tickets and the suite to the Super Bowl for free?  Were you pissed off over the red carpet treatment?  Were you pissed when Diaz was giving you a blow job the night before?  It's time to get over yourself Mr. Rodriguez.  Your a fucking celebrity.  Your paid millions upon millions of dollars to be in the limelight.  People are going to watch your every move no matter where your at or what your doing.  For the money you make, you should be grateful to each and every person out there paying your salary.  Don't tell me the Yankees are paying it!  If it weren't for the fans and advertisers, there would be no huge salary for you.  
    I didn't see Ashton Kutcher and the Bush's being pissed off for being shown live on national television.  Get off of your high horse Alex and start being humble for once you steriod abusing cocksucker!  If Cameron wants to wipe your ass while sitting at the Super Bowl next year you better smile at the camera or get the fuck off of the planet!

Monday, February 7, 2011

America's Team

  It's been 24 hours since Super Bowl XLV was played.  In this game you had historic pro football teams playing against each other.  6 time Super Bowl Champion Pittsburgh Steelers vs. 3 time Super Bowl Champion Green Bay Packers.
   The Packer won the first two Super Bowls ever played then another with future hall of fame texter Brett Favre.  The Pittsburgh Steelers have won 6 Super Bowls, with 4 of them being in 6 years.  The Steelers were the TEAM of the 70's.
    Now I've lived in the midwest pretty much my whole life.  When you live in the midwest, you have a handful of teams you can follow.  Kansas City Chiefs, Chicago Bears, Minnesota Vikings, St. Louis Rams and the Green Bay Packers.  Personally I follow the Chiefs and kind of observe the rest when I can.  
   My rant today is about all the people who I know and work with that wanted to root for the Steelers.  How in the hell can you do that?  Most of them don't even know where Pittsburgh even is!  How can you people be "big" Steelers fans?  I know you've watched them on tv and such but have you really watched them?  When in a certain region, root for the local team!!
    How in the hell can you support something you've never been around?  That's like a dude from Miami rooting for the San Diego Chargers.  Just doesn't work!  Now off of my rant.  This was a great game to watch.  You had excitement from both teams.  You had drama from both teams.  Then in the end, the right team won.  Nice victory to the Green Bay Packers.  Just make sure next year the "Black Eyed Peas" don't perform again!

Saturday, January 29, 2011

National Signing Day.

   National Signing Day is in the next few days for college football.  This is the day when high school seniors and junior college transfers can sign with Division I schools to play football.  This is the day when the rich get richer.  When i say this I mean you have the powerhouses of college football getting all of the "blue chip" recruits.
    Your top teams like Texas, Alabama, Oklahoma, Penn State, Michigan and others get their way with all of the top incoming players.  Your second class citizens of college football work their collective asses off to get 2 and 3 star athletes to come and play for their universities.  
     The whole time you have all of this money with the "major" schools being passed around to help the football program.  With this money, they can upgrade the stadium, the practice facilities, the weight room, the player personal room, the locker room.  Everything is fantastic for the "upper" class programs.
   When national signing day starts, you have these retarded rituals being performed in area high schools.  They sit around with about 5 to 10 different college hats infront of them.  Then the drama builds as they all of a sudden pull the hat of the college they are going to out and put it on their heads.  I call bullshit!  If that's my kid I tell them to just put it up on the table and never ever tease a program with your decision!
   My question is this.  How many father and son's are we going to see asking for money upfront to these universities?  We don't need another Cam Newton bullshit saga going on.  I know it's going to happen somewhere but we dont need it advertised all over the fucking world!  Cecil Newton wasn't wrong in doing what he did.  Cecil wasn't wrong for trying to get ahead.  Hell its the American way!  Cecil Newton was wrong for getting caught!
   In a perfect world I would love to see some sort of equality between all of college sports.  The bigger schools will always get the better athletes.  The bigger schools will always get more money.  The bigger schools will always get way ahead of the smaller schools.  To me that sucks some major goat balls.
     Good luck to your favorite teams this year when it comes to signing major players!  

Friday, January 28, 2011

Kaleb T.

  My beautiful wife and I just got home from a nice dinner with my oldest daughter and her boyfriend Kaleb T.  Tonight was all about eating mexican food and talking about life in general.  My daughter Cassandra has been seeing a young man by the name of Kaleb T. for awhile now.  
    They've known eachother for a bit now but rekindled their friendship at an Iowa State Cyclones football game tailgate.  I've had the pleasure of meeting Kaleb on a few occasions.  He seems pretty nice and all.  The number one thing is that he makes my daughter happy.
  She's constantly bragging on him.  Making sure that she lets her mother know whats going on with them.  When I've been around him, I've found him to be a nice guy.  He seems to be treating my daughter well and that's all I want in life.  Her to find love with someone who will make her happy during good times and bad.  If not, I'm going to be honest, I'll have to hurt someone.  She is my baby anyways.
   Kaleb T. and Cassandra came home from school this weekend.  His family lives about 20 miles from our family.  Cassandra calls her mother and tells her that she wants to go out and eat.  It's then we decide to meet at Cass's favorite place to eat.  The local mexican cafe' is our place eat at.
The beautiful wife and I show up about 5 minutes earlier then Cass and Kaleb T.  That's ok they had a long trip home.  After everyone is there we order.  Kaleb asks me if it's ok to order a drink from the bar.  I say sure, thats ok in my book.  He orders a XXX Mexican beer.  I order a pitcher of beer.  He looks at me in amazement.  I give him that look ..  "Yes son, I have pissed out more beer then you will ever drink".  
   The food comes and after awhile I look at Kaleb and his beer is gone.  It's then I have the waiter get another glass so him and I can share a beer together.  The next thing you know we are having a good time and all is well.
   I ask him if he likes my daughter.  He tells me that he likes her alot and cares about her.  I ask him if he likes the ISU Cyclones. He tells me he loves the ISU Cyclones.  SO far so good with this boy.  At this time he's a keeper.  At this time I decide to order another pitcher of beer.  We go along with eating dinner.  We converse.  All is good.  I look at Kaleb and notice he's enjoying his beer as he eats.  
    I continue with my dinner and my conversation.  It's then I notice Kaleb T. slowly but surely reaching for my pitcher of beer.  It's then I look at him and say in a stern voice.  "Son, you can love my daughter.  You can love my Cyclones.  Just do me one favor and never EVER love my beer"!!!!