Tuesday, November 30, 2010

The day of the chain gang! High School style.

  A few days ago my 14 year old daughter came home from her first year in high school telling a story of a mini-riot.  After talking to a few friends who work in the system I got the full story.  Come to find out there was a mini-riot.  Kids being pretty much fucking retarded.  Starting shit and not wanting to listen to authority.
   These kids were warned about something and they wouldn't listen.  So, one by one of the kids who was fucking up were told to go home that they were suspended.  Oh well, shit happens.  Then they get outside and start shit with some teachers and everything escalates!  To make this long story short, the police were called in to handle the situation.
   Now this isn't the first time the police have been called to the highschool this year.  I can read in the local paper anytime during the week and see some underage fuck getting arrested for petty shit.  These little bastards won't listen so it's time to pay the piper.  When my oldest daughter was in school, you might find an arrest record about every 3 to 4 months.  This shit going on now is getting pretty damn old real fast!
   My wife and I were talking about the events that happened at school and remembered our high school days.  We had a vice-principal who stood 6'4" tall and weighed most likely 300 pounds if not heavier.  We called him the "Warden".  His name was Curt and he was the most intimidating motherfucker you'd ever meet.  If you were a good kid with no problems, he was the nicest guy in the world.  If you were a fuck up with bad intentions, he'd fuck your world up faster then you could blink!
  "The Warden" would rule the halls each and everyday of the week.  He'd growl at you if you were running or just plain goofing off.  He'd come up and pat you on the back with is giant paw if you did something real good.  He knew how to play both sides of the emotion factor.  This I promise you... If there were to be a mini-riot, he'd be out there throwing kids all around the goddamn parking lot.  He took no shit!  He never once let anyone, man, woman or child disrespect the school he monitored.  He was tough but fair!
  "The Warden" was old school.  He believed in showing the back of the hand across the face as much as he did showing a hug to a deserving student.  Trust me when i say this.  He loved his students.  He just didn't like fuck ups!  What the kids of today need is a "Warden".  They need a man who will knock the living fuck out of you to get his point across.
   They need a man who will praise you when it's deserved.  They need a man who will throw you into a locker if your being a douche bag.  They need a man who will go to bat for you to make a point of how good your doing.  "The Warden" did that!  We don't need police showing up at our school 3 days a week if you have "The Warden" walking the halls.
   Here's to me hoping that sometime soon we get a "Warden" roaming the school's halls again.  It's seriously needed!  Another note.  "The Warden" has been retired for a bit now.  I see him about once a week.  He can tell me about the time I fucked up and he can on the other hand tell me about the time I did something special "The Warden" is a special man who should be never forgotten.  Maybe they can hire him for some consultations!

Why not smile? A quarterback's plight!

  Arizona Cardinal quarterback Derek Anderson has a right to be pissed. 
Anderson was caught smiling and laughing with teammate Deuce Lutui during a blowout loss to the San Fransisco 49ers.  After the game Anderson was questioned over and over by reporters of why he was laughing and joking with his teammate.
  Anderson responded that he and Lutui was telling him to keep his chin up and made some funny remarks.  Questioned once again about laughing on the sidelines, Anderson finally lost his cool and went on a profanity laced tirade.
   "You think I'm laughing about something?"  "I take this serious!  Very serious!"  "I put my heart and soul into this each and every week!"  "I'm telling you what I do each and every week!"  "I put my heart and soul into this!"  "I dont go out there and laugh!"  "It's not funny!"  "Nothing's funny to me!  I don't want to go out there and get embarrassed on Monday Night Football in front of everyone!"
   Now here come's my opinions!  If I'm Anderson I walk off of that podium and reach out and slap each and every reporter who asked me these stupid fucking questions!  What the fuck are these people thinking?  I mean for Christ's sake Derek isn't out there for shits and giggles!  He's out there trying to win some goddamn football games!  This is how he earns his living.  He wants to be good!  He wants to make people proud!  He wants to be known as a good quarterback who's a true winner!
   For all of you fantasy league playing idiots, take note... Derek Anderson might not be your fantasy player but he is one hell of a human being for giving it his all for 16 games per year.  To all of you reporters who think you know everything there is about the sports you cover.  Learn some fucking manners and give a man a break.  I promise you, he'd kick your ass all over a field or court each and everytime you competed!

As seen on TV!

   When I'm not selling outdoor power equipment, I help out in our store that sells just about every thing you can imagine!  We sell plumbing, electrical supplies, paint, outdoor power equipment parts and basic hardware.  I love retail with a passion almost as much as I do dealing with people when it comes to outdoor power equipment sales!
  Within the retail sales business, you find all sorts of shit that will sell.  Alot of the stuff we keep in stock is because of customers ordering it.  Our attitude is that if we don't have it and you want it, we'll order it then keep it stocked for the next customer.  Thats what keeps customers coming through the door each and every day.  Along with our employee's customer service!  
  Every once in awhile, we get some products in that I've seen on infomercials.  The Snuggy is an example.  The Revolutionary Grill Cleaner!  Thats another tv product!  What about shit thats not on tv.  How about a basic microwave?  I know we sell them.  It's just that everytime I turn on the tv, they are offering a better one!  What the hell do I do?  Should I cut off my local store and buy everything from the tv?  
   What do I do if I want to return this product?  DO I call the tv and try to get it returned?  Like that's going to fuckin happen!  What about that important revolutionary grill cleaner?  Is this supposed to be the greatest thing for grilling ever?  Fuck if I know!!  That's why I'm asking!  I love to grill so now I'm interested.  I look at this product and noticed it aint shit but a fucking scrubber.  Well hell, I can get the same thing with a cleaner and a brillow pad!  The Revolutionary Grill Cleaner is worth $17.99.  I can get a brillow pad and some cleaner for a total between the two for $8.99.  I do believe I fucking win!
   What about the people who come into stores and want a price match on shit they see on tv? If I don't have the product on the shelves, then fuck you!  How can I match this shit?  I've had little old (CRABBY) ladies wanting me to cut them a deal over something they bought off a goddamn tv commercial and when I can't, they get pissed and cuss me out.  Wanna know what I think?  FUCK YOU OLD LADY!  Maybe if your lucky, I'll come to your funeral soon!
  We sell Eden Pure Heaters.  We sell them at the same goddamn price as the infomercial and as found on the internet.  The cool thing is... We offer a warranty.  Yes, the other places offer a warranty also.  Our is better.  If you buy an Eden Pure Heater off the internet or off of the back of a truck selling them I want you to try and get your warranty taken care of by a human being.  IT WONT HAPPEN!  Trust me when I say this.  I've tried it many o' times for the place I work.
  Your going to have to either email or call the place where you bought it.  With us, you can bring the piece back in and if we can't fix it, we hand you a BRAND new one.  You won't find that anywhere!  Now the bitch of all of this.  We have people ordering heaters off of tv or the fucking internet.  Thats cool and such.  Till something might go wrong with it.  Now they want us to warranty it.  FUCK YOU PEOPLE!  
   For once in your life think!  We didn't sell it to you, so don't expect us to take care of your warranty issues with a fee!  Bitch all you want, I don't give a flying fuck!  
      Long story short.... Beware of As Seen On TV!

Monday, November 29, 2010

Welcome back Dan McCarney!

   It's been reported that Dan McCarney will be named the new head football coach at University of North Texas Tuesday.  Congratulations to a fine coach, a fine man, a fine human being! 
  Coach McCarney has a pretty impressive past.  He played high school in Iowa City, Iowa where his father was police chief.  He went to college on a football scholarship to the University of Iowa.  He went on to have a shot with the Atlanta Falcons of the NFL.  
   After his stint with the Falcons, he became a graduate assistant under neath Hayden Fry with the University of Iowa.
Dan ended up coaching the defensive line for the University of Iowa for many years.  He pretty much raised his family in Iowa City.  Then his dream came true.  He was hired at Iowa State University to become their head football coach.  
   Times were tough for Dan the first few years he coached at ISU.  He had more losing seasons then you could shake a stick at!  He was tough though.  He was able to start bringing in recruits that would build the future of Iowa State football!
    Along the way, he was able to build Iowa State into a winner.  He took the team to 5 bowl games. Which has never been done before or since.  Along the way he was able to become co-champion of the BIGXII North Division along with Missouri.
   After a few years of not getting over the "hump" to get to the next level, boosters started bitching and complaining for his ouster.  If finally happened.  After his last game at home with a victory, the fans stormed the field ( I was one!!) and carried him off on their shoulders!  He was and always will be Iowa State!
   Next moves for Dan are to become an assistant at University of South Florida and then the University of Florida.  Dan and his beautiful wife own a home in Florida so this all makes sense!  Infact, he was able to help South Florida to a conference championship!  Infact, he was able to achieve another dream and win a National Championship as defensive line/assistant head coach at Florida!  Dreams do come true!
  Since he's paid his dues once again, he's getting recognized for his coaching abilities!  Here's the great part.  This son of a gun is going to talent laden Texas to become a head coach.  McCarney's biggest attribute is his recruiting!  I can't wait till he sets down in Texas and starts recruiting there.  He can charm the panties off of a preacher's wife in a fucking heartbeat!
   I forcast he brings North Texas to a winning season within 2 years and moves on to another semi-major coaching job.  Trust me when I say this North Texas.... You've got one hell of a fucking coach!  Good luck!

Bad Tattoo's!

  If you look at the photo to the left, you notice a very attractive lady.  She's got a fantastic smile with beautiful eyes.  Very stunning to say the least.  My question is.. What the fuck is on her armpit?  To me it seems to be a misplace tattoo.  Did the tattoo artist mess up when placing the skin art on?  I'm thinking no.
   I'm thinking this hot girl wanted a cool tattoo and didn't know where to put the fucker.  I'm thinking maybe she lost a goddamn bet.  I'm thinking maybe she's mildly retarded or something like that.  All I know is that anyone with a set of fucking brains wouldn't put a tattoo in their fucking armpit!
   I'm looking at this more and more and still can't figure out what the fuck the art is.  Was she drunk or high when she got this done?  Does she think this is cool?  Has anyone had the balls to tell her she looks like a fucking idiot?  If not, please let her know!  Be a friend and let her know!
    If your going to get a tattoo, please think of the future and what your family thinks.  I personally love tattoos.  I have one.  My spouse has one.  My daughter has one.  Just be smart and don't act a fool!    Hopefully this tattoo won't come back to haunt you in the near future.  I'm wondering if your wanting to become someone of importance. Do you only wear long sleeve blouses?  Do you never EVER raise your left arm?  If that's your only options, then your a fucking moron!
    Remember people.  Think before you ink!

Is Willie Nelson going to do serious time?

  Willie Nelson was busted the other day for having 6oz of marijuana aboard his tour bus as it was crossing border control on it's way to Willie's house in Austin, Texas.  Willie was released after posting $2500.00 dollars bond.
  Nelson was collared after his tour bus was searched and to have been found with 6oz on it.   Nelson 77, took full responsibility for the possession of the pot.
  I can fully understand the search of the tour bus at the border.  That makes sense to me 100%.  There's a great chance that on the side of the bus you could probably find Willie's name splashed all over the motherfucker.
  Now you've got some straight up fucknuts stopping the bus to do the search knowing the whole time it's Willie Nelson's.  Knowing that this good-ole-boy is packin weed!  The sumbitch has packed weed for more then 50 goddamn years.  Nice fucking arrest Barney Fife!
   Hell in some states marijuana is legal for medical reasons. Don't you think theres a great chance at Willie's age that maybe he has a few medical problems?  Maybe some glaucoma?  Maybe some stiffness in his knees?  Maybe the old fart just likes to get high!  Why don't cooler heads prevail and have Mr. Nelson pay his fine and give a donation to some kind of charity.  Remember assholes, he's 77 fucking years old.
   6oz of dope in Texas is a felony.  We're talking about some serious jail time here.  Are you going to send a 77 year old man to prison over some fucking grass?  If so, your all a bunch of fucking douchebags!  The United States Of America government has already messed with this man over the last 20 years.
  The Country Music Hall -of Fame member had to sell off all of his possessions for tax evasion a few years back.  I think that was enough for anyone!  Let Willie be Willie. Let him grow old in peace and move on with his life.  He's entertained us all for the last 50+ years and we've loved every bit of it!  Let him move on with his life people!

Another day at the local high school.

  Last Tuesday or so at our local high school 15 to 25 students get suspended for wearing barets and other kind of girls shit to school.  Now I like our principal but I've got to wonder what the fuck he's thinking.  Were these kids causing a disturbance?  We're they causing a fucking riot?
   I pull up to the high school to pick up my freshman daughter and I see two police cars sitting their with officers talking to a gentleman.  Now I don't know the whole truth so I wont try and go on about it.  The only thing I do know is that a parent of a student is arrested for voicing his opinion.
  What the fuck is going on at our local high school?  Back in my day, our assistant principal would grab you by the neck and throw you into a locker and tell you to shut the fuck up.  Now we've got police involved with everything.  I follow what goes on in the high school because first of all my daughter goes to this high school.  Second of all my oldest daughter graduated from their last year.  Third of all I graduated from there 25 years ago.  My wife and I are a minority that still live in this town that went to this school.  We love this school and town and want the best for it.
  In the last few month we've had a "success coordinator" arrested for spousal abuse.  Nothing happened.  You talk about a town pissed off!  We've got shit from the last few years that still have members of the community pissed off.  We're talking how an administrator stole from the local Wal-Mart and never got fired. We're talking about how a principal decides to ban a former HONOR student from the school grounds for "freedom of speech".  Just because the principal didn't like what the former student had to say.  Now I've said it once before, I like the principal.  He just needs to get his shit together.  He's suspended students for freedom of expression and banned a former student for freedom of opinion.  I guess this principal doesn't understand the constitution very well!
  This principal has decided how students can act and not act while in school.  Thats ok in my book.  Just dont invade their rights by the constitution.  If by chance some little snot nosed puke is causing a problem, then bring down the hammer on them.  If by chance some little tough guy wanna be is fucking with fellow students, then bring down the goddamn hammer on them.
  Little shit like this needs to be addressed but given some kinda leeway.  Be tough but know when not to be an asshole!  It's pretty simple as that.  If you question my reasoning on this, let me know.  I'll debate you all day long on how to address employees or anything else in that matter.  I've been there and done that.  Infact, I deal with it each and everyday!

Sunday, November 28, 2010

A Real American Hero. (Pat Tillman)

  On September 11th 2001, American was attacked.  The largest attack on American soil ever.  Most of us will remember what we were doing that day.  I know I remember.  I was at home asleep after working all night.  I always sleep with the t.v. on for some reason.  I thought I was dreaming about all of the activities when my beautiful wife called me and asked me the towers had fallen.
  I woke my groggy head up and looked at the t.v. as I was talking to her.  It's then I seen the second tower go down.  I watched the tragedy live.  It still sickens me to think of that plane flying through that building.
   After this sad time in American history, a lot of citizens took action by signing up with our armed forces.  American pride took over and they wanted revenge.  President George W. Bush was pretty much shitting himself when we invade Afghanistan looking for Osama Bin Laden who claimed to be the man behind these senseless acts in New York City. Not to long after this invasion, Bush tries to lay blame on Saddam Hussain and we also invade Iraq.  Thats another story for another time.
  About this time a young man by the name of Pat Tillman decides to enter the Army.  Thats all good and such.  The funny thing is that Pat is a multi-millionaire football player with the NFL's Arizona Cardinals.  He's so moved by the bullshit going on in the world, he gives up millions upon millions to help his country.  This is the quote he gave as he bacame an Army Ranger:  "Sports embodied many of the qualities that I deem meaninful.  However these last few years, and especially after recent events, I've come to appreciate just how shallow and insignificant my role is... I'ts now longer important."  WOW!  Thats a deep man with some serious shit on his mind!
  Pat gives up 3.6 million dollars to join the Army Rangers with his younger brother Kevin.  Before Pat leaves for his military assignment, he marries his highschool sweetheart Marie.  Tillman and his brother were assigned to the second battalion of the Army Rangers.  Both served missions in Iraq as part of Operation Iraqi Freedom.  Pat and Kevin then went on to serve in Afghanistan to serve in Operation Enduring Freedom.
   On April 22nd 2004 Pat Tillman was killed in action while in a canyon in eastern Afghanistan.  First reports indicated he was killed during a firefight with insurgents for the Taliban.  A week later we found ourselves at a funeral.
   Pat Tillman was eulogized in a national televised memorial service.  Senator John McCain delivered the eulogy.  As details emerged, Tillman's family began demanding answers.  They knew something was wrong with the answers they got about Pat's death.  BULLSHIT was abound.  People were lying and they wanted to know what the fuck was going on!
  After a small investigation, it was told to the parents and the world that Pat had died by "friendly fire".  Still, the Tillman family wasn't buying the whole story.  There's more bullshit going on.  After more investigation it was finally known that Tillman's platoon was split in half after their vehicle broke down during a routine search of an Afghan village.  What happened next was that Taliban soldiers attacked the U.S. soldiers.  Half of them were getting attacked when the other half came to rescue.  Thats when Tillman was shot 3 times in the head while protecting his fellow soldiers.
  It came to light that the USA knew he was dead from friendly fire within 24 hours of the tragedy.  The USA lied and made up shit to protect their collective asses.  Thats bullshit!  The Tillman's know in their minds that their is more bullshit being hidden from them.  They want answers!  They want answers now!  We all want answers now!  Get your shit together people of importance!
   Another quote from the Tillman family: "This isn't about Pat, this is about what they did to Pat and what they did to a nation."  By making up these false stories, your diminishing their true heroism."  "The truth might not be pretty but that's not war's about."  "It's ugly, it's bloody, it's painful." "It's painful. And to write these glorious tales is really a disservice to this nation."
    Amen!  Fucken eh!  These people who run this nation of ours are true cocksuckers.  They need to be brought up on charges for tons of bullshit they've done to America.  Infront of the line should be our former President George W. Bush.  You sir, are a liar.  You sir are a piece of shit!  You sir should be brought up on war crimes for your actions!  You sir are a total fuck head!
    God Bless Pat Tillman.  God Bless Pat Tillman's family.  God Bless the men and women of the United States that protect our country!  Fuck you George W. Bush and your bullshit ways that have ruined this fine country of ours!

What ever happened to Osama Bin Laden?

September 11th 2001 was the greatest tragedy in United States history.  The mastermind behind the attacks on the World Trade Centers in New York City was Osama Bin Laden.  After these attacks, all we heard about was how Bin Laden was the beast behind the deaths of over 3,000 innocent people.
  This is a man who claimed responsibility for attempting to bomb U.S. soldiers in Yemen.  Then a year later he attacked U.S. troops in Somalia.  How come we didn't kick this fuckers ass back in 1992 and or 1993?  Next thing you know this crazy fucker tries to bomb the World Trade Center with a car bomb.  
   As I mentioned before all we heard on 2001 was how we need to get Bin Laden.  How he's wanted "dead or alive".  How he is public enemy #1!  Next thing you know George W. Bush decides that the United States needs to go into an unjust war against Iraq and Saddam Hussain.
  Next thing you know we kind of looking for Bin Laden.  He's out running around playing hide and seek in Afghanistan or Pakistan.  Mean while we as a country are invading Iraq hell bent to kick Hussain's ass.  What the fuck happened to Bin Laden?
  Now we are working on 10 years of an unjust war in Iraq.  President Obama has decided to pull out troops as fast as he can.  We were able to capture Hussain and have him executed for war crimes.  Hmmmm.  Where the fuck is Bin Laden?  Did he build a "time machine" and decide to go ahead in time? Did he decide to go back in time?
  With all of our talents as the leader of the free world, why can't we use all of our power and find this rascilly rabbit?  It can't be that fucking hard to find him.  I know I know I know he's sitting in some goddamn cave in the mountains.  Wanna know the solution?  BOMB THE FUCKING CAVES!
   Send some missile's into all of the caves till some pussy comes running out telling us where this cocksucker is!  Get all of our fucking troops out of Iraq now and send twice as many into Afghanistan or Packistan now!  This isn't rocket science people.  Smoke this cunt out of his fucking cave and execute him on television for the world to see.
  We as a free country along with our allie's need to get this done now.  Do not let this piece of shit die of natural causes.  Execute him and all of his douchebag cronies as the entire world watches!

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Food Stamps!!!

  I'm sitting around here looking at news from all over the world.  Thats what I do.  I'm kinda bored but mostly I want to keep up on whats going on in this sad world we live in.  I get kind of nutty and start looking our welfare system and how it works.  If you know me I believe in the welfare system for assistance not for a fucking lifestyle!
  I can work between 50 and 60 hours per week and make some money.  I can have 3 children hopefully take care them very well.  Then you have that gal who thought she was an athlete get drunk one night and spread her legs.  Next thing you know this whore is spitting out a kid and making money for it!  She's getting welfare money and never EVER working a day for it.  She's getting free health care and not giving a fuck about it.  Last but not least, she's eating free with food stamps!
  My wife and I go to the grocery store and buy some food.  Next thing you know I see Kimona WanLeighU at the next check out.  I've got wieners and kook-aid and she's got fucking steaks! I mumble outloud "what the fuck?"  My beautiful wife informs me that KimonaWanLeighU is a whore and getting free food for spreading her legs.  NOW I'M PISSED!
   I look at my wife and ask her... Isn't that the cunt who thought she was an athlete?  The wife informs yes.  Didn't her mother tell us she was getting full ride scholarships anywhere she wanted?  My wife informs me yes.  I ask what happened.... The wife tells me she ended up being a pill popper/pot smoker/ drunk who liked to fuck and got pregnant!   Then I get to thinking.  She did get her FULL RIDE Scholarship!  From the University of Gubment!
   She has free housing.  She has free education.  She has free food.  This cunt made off better then if she would have went to Goddamn University of Southern California!  Here my kid works her ass off to get ahead and she ends up (by her own choice) getting student loans.  I have friends who have kids doing the same thing every day.  With this piece of shit she takes a load of man goo down her throat and she gets a fucking Harvard Education!  What the fuck is wrong with this goddamn picture?
   Now I'm wondering if she spits out a couple of more kids, does she get a fucking condo?  Does she get a goddamn Mercedes Benz?  Does she get food for life?  The funny thing about all of this shit is that this cunt isn't paying one cent in taxes.  She's never had a fucking job so she's never paid into her benefits.  Lord have mercy on my soul when I say this.... You my dear are a worthless piece of shit!  Just like your mother who taught you this!
   What about the poor college kids working their collective asses off?  Can they get free food and free housing?  Can they get a free education?  FUCK NO they cant!  Wanna know why?  Because they aren't abusing the goddamn welfare!  This cunt I'm talking about is getting free food and an education while my daughter is having to work her ass off for noodles and milk!  My daughters friends have student loans coming out of their asses while this whore has nothing.  She has the gubment backing her all the way.  This is some kind of fucked up!
   What needs to happen is to have our government start checking out the abuse of the welfare system!  It's so fucked up it's not even funny!  There are kids busting their collective asses each and every day trying to make a difference in this world we live in.  Then you have people trying to fuck over the system!  Now that pisses me off!  If found fucking the system over, we need to put these cunts in jail and make sure they are prosecuted to the fullest extent!  If this whore's mother has a problem with me calling out her worthless daughter please email me!  I've never mentioned anyone's name.  Nor I will.  I guess your guilty of being a fuck!

What would Touchdown Jesus do?

 19-year-old Northbrook woman died of an apparent suicide nine days after telling University of Notre Dame police she had been sexually attacked by a football player in a dorm room, the Tribune has learned.

Elizabeth "Lizzy" Seeberg, a freshman at neighboring St. Mary's College who had battled depression, apparently overdosed on prescription medication in her own room during the third week of classes in September. The player, meanwhile, has remained on the field.

More than two months later, Notre Dame refuses to publicly acknowledge the case, and what actions university officials have taken to investigate her allegation remain largely unknown.

Campus authorities did not tell the St. Joseph County Police Department investigating Seeberg's death about her report of a sexual attack, county officials said. Nor did they refer the case to the county's special victims unit, which was established to handle sex offenses, according to prosecutors.

Former federal prosecutor Zachary Fardon, who tried ex-Gov. George Ryan, has been hired by Seeberg's parents to look into circumstances surrounding her allegations and Notre Dame's investigation.

"At this time, we're not prepared to make any comment about Notre Dame's investigation," he said Friday.

In the months since Seeberg's death, the university and its police force have denied formal requests for information from the Tribune, asserting it is not bound by open records laws that make public reports filed at other Indiana police departments.

The alleged attackoccurred Aug. 31, the second week of classes at Notre Dame.

Seeberg told her dorm mates about the incident upon returning to St. Mary's campus and hand-wrote a statement that evening, a source said.

She reported it to Notre Dame police at 5 p.m. the following day. The department's Web site twice refers to a single alleged sex crime on Aug. 31, listing it once as a sexual battery and once as a sexual assault by an acquaintance. The documents provided no further description. A source said that her allegations did not describe penetration, but a sexual attack that ended when there was a knock on the door.

Seeberg received treatment at a local hospital, consented to a DNA evidence kit and was offered counseling, sources said.

One law enforcement record showed she received assistance from Belles Against Violence, a St. Mary's program that helps victims of sex crimes.

Notre Dame police could have turned the case over to the county's special victims unit, which is trained to handle sex-crime investigations. However, officials did not do so, and a campus police log shows the matter was assigned within the department.

A spokeswoman for St. Joseph County Prosecutor Michael Dvorak said campus authorities have not asked the office to charge anyone in connection with the alleged sexual attack. She said she "couldn't say" whether the office had been consulted on the case.

Seeberg was interviewed by Notre Dame police about the alleged attack, and a source said she provided two written statements and pointed out a player from his picture on a Notre Dame roster.

The Tribune is not identifying the football player because he has not been charged with a crime. He has not responded to e-mail messages seeking comment.

The university declined to make first-year coach Brian Kelly available for comment about the allegation against his player, saying any such incident "would be addressed institutionally, not by the football coach."

Notre Dame also declined to make university officials available, but issued a written statement Thursday: "Any time we are made aware of a student potentially violating university policies, we implement a process that is careful and thorough so that facts can be gathered, rumors and misinformation can be sorted out, and an informed decision can be made about what action to take — if action is warranted. We take our obligation seriously, we involve law enforcement officials as appropriate, and we act in accordance with the facts."

The Tribune's findings come as Notre Dame's football program grapples with fallout from the Oct. 27 death of team videographer Declan Sullivan, a 20-year-old junior from Long Grove who was killed during practice when a scissor lift he was working on toppled in high winds. The athletic department has been criticized for failing to take responsibility for the incident and for appearing to put the team's interests before Sullivan's safety.

St. Mary's was supposed to have marked a new beginning for Seeberg, a devout Catholic whose disorder occasionally led to bouts of depression, friends and sources said. She left the University of Dayton following one semester in 2009 and transferred to the private women's college in northern Indiana. She had plans to become a nurse.

"She was so excited and so enthusiastic about starting the year off right," said Lauren Emde, a close high school friend who said she was unaware of the alleged attack. "She had a whole plan about what she was going to be."

Seeberg became despondent after reporting the alleged attack, sources said.

One source said that she suddenly felt self-conscious on St. Mary's campus, where the 1,600-member student body is about three-quarters the size of her old high school, Glenbrook North. She feared people would dislike her for accusing a Notre Dame athlete of a sex crime and that she would wear the incident "like a scarlet letter" throughout her college career, the source said.

She expressed suicidal thoughts to a counselor, according to the death investigation report written by the county police department.

Three days after she alleged the attack, Seeberg's family was in South Bend on the first home football weekend of the season. Wearing a green Notre Dame T-shirt and sporting a temporary "ND" tattoo on her
 cheek, Seeberg posed for pictures with her St. Mary's dorm mates at a tailgate party.

According to a source familiar with Seeberg's final days, she and her St. Mary's friends already had plans to attend the football game and she was making efforts to keep normalcy in her life, including attending class. Her family was there that weekend to support her.

The following Friday, Sept. 10, Seeberg missed a counseling session, and a staff member from Belles Against Violence went to check on her about 2:30 p.m., county police records show. She was found unconscious and barely breathing in her dorm room.

Seeberg was taken to Memorial Hospital in South Bend, where she died of a suspected drug overdose, according to the sheriff's office. Toxicology reports have not come back yet, but authorities believe she ingested a lethal dosage of Effexor, a drug for treating depression and anxiety.

St. Joseph County police handled the death investigation, but its officers were unaware of the sexual attack allegation, Assistant Chief William said. Contacted by the Tribune nearly three weeks after Seeberg's overdose, Redman said no one from Notre Dame had spoken to his department about her apparent suicide.

The death stunned St. Mary's, where campus officials have only said that Seeberg "died suddenly" at the hospital. In a letter to parents and students, college President Carol Ann Mooney acknowledged that "we all have many questions about Lizzy's death."

"Although we do not know the cause of her death, we want to stop any potential rumors by stating that no crime occurred on our campus related to her death," she wrote.

St. Mary's is across the street from Notre Dame.

Mooney listed Belles Against Violence, the sex-crime counseling center, as one of four places where students could receive help in the wake of Seeberg's passing.

Mooney declined to speak to the Tribune about Seeberg's death.

An estimated 400 people attended a Sept. 13 memorial service for Seeberg on St. Mary's campus. The former Illinois state scholar and Glenbrook North swim team member was remembered for her friendship, sunny demeanor and dedication to her Church.

Seeberg's parents, Tom and Mary, declined to be interviewed, but on Friday the family issued a statement through their lawyer:

"We are still mourning the loss of our beautiful daughter and sister, Lizzy. She had a big smile that was a window to her big heart. She always had a kind word for others. Lizzy gave more to others in her short 19 years than most people give in a lifetime. Lizzy is deeply missed, but her giving spirit lives on in her family and her many friends."

The oldest of three children, Seeberg had been active in St. Norbert Catholic Church in Northbrook, her family's longtime parish. She was involved in youth ministry throughout high school, helped with the children's nursery program and volunteered at a local soup kitchen once a month, said Maggie Bruce, the church's youth ministry coordinator. She also spent the past four summers rehabilitating homes in Benton Harbor, Mich., as part of her church's Habitat for Humanity mission.

"She was such a dear person," Bruce said. "She was as kind as you could be, always willing to reach out to someone else. A beautiful smile and a beautiful spirit inside and out."

Seeberg's family members are well-known donors and volunteers in Chicago's Catholic community. Her father is on the president's council at Christ the King Preparatory, a Jesuit high school that aims to bring affordable secondary education to the impoverished West Side.

For her part, Lizzy and her Glenbrook North friends raised money for the West Side school by making and selling picture frames.

"Lizzy had a real sense that God had blessed her, and she wanted to give back to those who were not fortunate to have equal access to a solid education," Christ the King President Christopher Devron wrote after her death. "For her youthful age, she had a mature awareness about injustice, and wanted to make the world a better place."

     Here's what I'm seeing.  I'm seeing a major university overlooking someone's plight and trying to push some kind of bullshit underneath the fucking rug.  This young lady calls out for help and this major university does the wait and see thing.  Wanna know why?  It's because a football player is accused.  This young man will be something of a money maker for Notre Dame if he becomes someone important! 
   First of all ..... FUCK Notre Dame!  Fuck this university!  It's nothing more then a place for athletics to rule the world.  If your not with athletics, then you can fuck off!  Fuck Touchdown Jesus!  Fuck him to hell!  Fuck Lou Holtz and his cheating ways at Notre Dame!    Head honcho's at major universities need to think of more then athletics!  They need to think of the students first!  If you read this article, you notice that Notre Dame is trying to brush this underneath the rug and forget all about it.  Most likely they will pay the parents some money and hopefully take care of future educations and such!  FUCK YOU Notre Dame!
      I hope to God above that this player burns in hell!  I hope to God above that Notre Dame burns in hell.  The people running this place are supposed to be people of faith.  BULLSHIT!  They could care less about faith.  They care about money and nothing else!  We as parents need to make sure this fucked up university pays and pays dearly for everything.  This young lady went to the police and complained!  Police did nothing!  Now the city of South Bend needs to pay!  FUCK YOU NOTRE DAME!


Remembering the 80's in a small town!

  Remember back in the day?  You know.  When you were younger.  Back when life was free.  Times were perfectly fine.  Times when we as kids didn't have to worry about jack diddly shit!  Those were the days! 
  I'm remembering shit for a reason.  I have a kid that works for me that's like 17 years old.  He's talking about his weekends and much fun they were.  This got me to thinking about when I was his age.  This kid is talking about how he went to some school dance and such.  He took his date to Dairy Queen for a bite to eat.  He finished his date and took her home.  My lord this kid leads a sheltered life!  
   I'm a dude who grew up in the 80's.  We had a good time even though there was a gas crunch.  There was a small depression.  There was a chance of nuclear war with the Soviet Union.  There was all sorts of bad shit going on but my lord we were having fun!
   The one thing I really remember was video arcades.  You could go into an arcade with $10.00 dollars and stay there for hours on end!  We could get a soda pop for .35 cents.  We could go to McDonalds and buy a Big Mac for less then a dollar.  We could put $10.00 dollars in a gas tank and cruise all night long.
  The best part of growing up in the 80's was the freedom!  In a small town we didn't worry about people being mean to us.  If by chance some fuck from another town wanted to come in and start shit, everyone would take him/her on.  It didn't matter if you were friends or enemies with someone.  We always had each other's backs.  We actually cared about our school mates.
   We had parties at each other's houses.  My lord we'd drink beer.  It didn't matter if you were the cool kid or the biggest fucking nerd in the school.  You were at that party!  Sometimes if you were lucky, you'd get a chick to make out with you.  We didn't have to worry about disease's.  We just did our thing.  
   Sometimes with a girl you'd be able to fingerbang her.  You'd be getting stupid and wondering what the fuck was going on when her pussy got so wet.  We were retarded!  We had no idea she was actually liking it!  On a good night you might get a hand job or even better a blowjob.  NOW thats living for a 17 year old kid!  
   We'd all meet at a house and sit around and drink beer.  We'd hang out and make fun of people till they passed out.  Then it was time to piss on them.  I know thats wrong but it happens and when it happened, it was funny as fuck!  Chicks usually for some reason always spilled beer on themselves.  Of course, we'd take them to our bedrooms so they could borrow our clothes.  Instead of leaving the room, they'd want to talk and such.  Next thing you know they'd be naked as fuck putting on your underwear.  Jesus I can't believe I survived!
    What I find funny is, that so many kids had girlfriends/boyfriends and were going "steady".  You look at that shit 25 years later and i laugh my fucking ass off!  We'll say that you had 20 "couples" back then.  All 20 got married.  Now 25 years later you might have 4 couples still together.  I'm laughing like a motherfucker about this!
   That was then.... This is now.  Today you have music like Bruno Mars.  You have Three Doors Down, Miley Cyrus, Justin Bieber, Theory of a Deadman and such.  In our day, you had John "Cougar" Mellencamp, Duran Duran, Bruce Springsteen, Motley Crue and countless others!
  In our day, music meant something.  Today it's pretty much garbage unless your listening to Eminem.  Everything else pretty much makes me want to puke.  Unless it's Katy Perry because she's got nice tits!
   On the down note.  Remember people.  We who lived in the 80's had fun.  We drank beer.  We smoked pot.  We fucked like rabbits!  We did it all!  We are no different then today except our girls had some hair on their pussy's.  IT wasn't like the 70's where all pussy's had a garden growing.  Women of the 80's kept that shit under control.  When I say under control I don't mean bald like today.  I mean she trimmed it nice and neat for easy access!  Thats the 80's!  Lord knows I miss them days!  Lord I miss playing Centipide!  Lord I miss buying a case of beer for $4.00 dollars!  I sure miss the 80's!


Friday, November 26, 2010

Black Friday!

  Who ever coined the term "Black Friday" I want to punch you in the goddamn face.  You sir/madam are a fucking idiot.  If you don't know about Black Friday let me give you a quick rundown.
  Black Friday is the biggest shopping day of the year.  It come's the day after "Thanksgiving".  It's when people come out to retail shops such as Wal-Mart, Target, RadioShack, K-Mart and other assorted stores to find the bargains of all bargains.  It's when stores have HUGE sales for the early Christmas shoppers.
   It's also a great marketing tool for these retail shops.  What they are putting up for sale are what they call "loss leaders".  They know they are going to lose money on the products they put up for sale hoping that when the customers are in the store they will buy other products to make up for the loss.  Thats where the stores make all of their money.
   The biggest attractions are sales of electronics.  It could be a t.v. or an ipod.  It could be Playstations or XBox systems.  Electronics are the biggest money maker for any retail store.  Best Buy makes billions on "OVER" priced merchandise.  If an electronic product costs $350.00 dollars, it most likely cost the retailer about $150.00 dollars.  Electronics are huge money makers!
  Now to my bitch and rant.  What kills me off about all of this Black Friday culture is how people schedule their holiday lives around it.  They will start Thanksgiving dinner early or later then normal for sleep time.  They will sit and look at coupons all day long figuring out what they want to get.  They bring in other shopper friends to make "teams" for better shopping.  They give each other lists of what to get then settle up later.
   I've seen people max out credit cards so they can get a fucking "Cabbage Patch Doll" that little Susie has to have!  I've seen people stand outside in sub zero weather for over 12 hours to have a chance to buy a fucking IPad. What the hell is going on here people?  I've seen people trampled going into a fucking Best Buy so they can buy the "next" big electronic device.  The funny thing is that 6 months from now that electronic device will half as much as it is priced now.  Thats how electronic retail works!
  I know it's a fun thing to do with family and friends but goddamn it's fucking dangerous at times.  People have died in the middle of the doorway trying to get in.  They have had their heads kicked in trying to get to the next big thing.  People are getting arrested every year for being retarded over Black Friday.  Assault is the biggest arrest.  Some people have been shot and killed after coming out of the store because they have the "it" toy.  To bad they had to die over a $55.00 item.
  I've seen people drive over 8 hours to get to that "Mega-Mall" just to have a chance that they could buy Little Brandon (who at 3 years old might be gay) the newest Ken doll.  What the fuck are you people thinking?  $2.754 per gallon for fuel and you drive your 1982 Toyota 560 miles for your 3 year old gay son's toy?  First of all you don't even know if the little fucker is even gay!  Second of all your driving 8 hours for a $45.00 dollar item.  Third of all your paying $2.754 per gallon for your vehicle that averages 21 miles per gallon.  Thats a grand total of 27 gallons of fuel.  After I get my calculator out and do some figuring, I've come up with a figure of $75.00 dollars spent in fuel one way for that fucking Ken doll!  You people are fucking retards!  
   Remember you have to go home sometime.  Thats another $75.00 dollars for the return trip.  Now your dumbass's have spent $150.00 dollars for that $45.00 dollar item!  Someone needs to kill you.  It's that simple.  At this point I know you wondering how come your homeless and have to use food stamps.  I need you to purchase a fucking mirror at the "mega-mall" and look into it.  I mean look deep into that mirror.  Now tell me what you see.  Can't figure it out?  Let me help your dumbass's.  You see a fucking idiot that shouldnt breed! Your seeing a fucking moron who thinks their 3 year old son is gay.  HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW IF HE'S GAY?  He doesn't even know what his penis is let alone another one's!
   Jesus Christ I hate people!  I hate Black Friday!  I hate retail shops!  I hate people who think they have a 3 year old gay child!  Wanna know what I'm calling next years "Black Friday"?  I'm calling it "Getting Drunk After Thanksgiving Day Celebration"!

The Heisman race is officially over.

  Theres an award that is given out annually to the nations top football player.  It's named after successful college coach John W. Heisman.  The 2010 college football season has been an exciting one to watch.  As I'm writing this, there are 4 undefeated teams left to work for a National Championship.
  I was fortunate to have today off from work so I was able to watch some really good football.  It started out with Auburn vs. Alabama in Tuscaloosa, Alabama.  This is a rivalry that dates over 100 years ago.  You had Colorado vs. Nebraska in the BIGXII playing for the North title.
   You had Arizona at Oregon.  You had Nevada vs. Boise State.  Three of these teams are undefeated going into today.  Auburn is ranked #2 in the nation.  Oregon is ranked #1.  Boise State is ranked #4.  I've watched all three games today/tonight.  Three great teams with outstanding personnel.
   I watched as Oregon overcame a testy Arizona team and went on to kick some ass.  LeMicheal James will be a great NFL runningback someday.  This kid is the real deal!  He's a legitimate Heisman candidate.  Plus Oregon has some of the coolest uniforms in the world!  I watched as Kellen Moore dismantled Nevada.  Another true Heisman candidate.  This kid will someday be a great NFL quarterback.  He's destined for fame.
  Now to the Auburn vs. Alabama game.  Alabama was last season's National Champion.  They have last years Heisman winner in Mark Ingram.  They have tradition that can only be matched by few.  They are the Crimson Tide.  In this game, Bama started out quick and never looked back.  That is till Cam Newton woke up.  The Tide started out 24 to 0 and looked to be knocking off the #2 team in the nation easily.  Mark Ingram was tearing up Auburns defense every chance he got.  He was there to show he still had the skills that made him last years Heisman winner.  That is.... Till Cam Newton woke up.
  I've been a big Cam Newton fan all year and today's showing makes me think I was right all year long.  At 6'5" and 240lbs he is a man.  Match that size with speed and smarts and you have one of the greatest college quarterbacks to ever play the game.  I'm serious as fuck when I say this.  At my age, I've seen a shitload of college quarterbacks.  Either live or on t.v.  This kid is the shit!
  I sat here and watched his man single handedly bring Auburn back from the jaws of defeat and beat Alabama.  This kid either ran or threw for every touchdown scored today.  He has passed for over 2,300 yards and ran for another 1,100.  He's a fucking machine!
   Now Cam has some baggage with him.  He's in the middle of a controversy with his father wanting atleast $180,000 dollars for him to play at Mississippi State University.  I guess Auburn paid more.  Who knows?  The only thing I know is that he's eligible to play and that's what counts!  If I'm a head coach somewhere all I know is I'm taking my empty beer cans to the local redemption center and giving this motherfucker every dime I made.  He's that goddamn good!
  If he needs a house.  Guess what?  The sumbitch has a new house.  If he needs a car, guess what?  This fucker is riding in the nicest Mercedes Benz money can buy.  Hell I'd have my wife blow him everyday till he graduates if that's what it takes!  This young man is simply the greatest quarterback to ever play the college game.  Fuck Tim Tebow!  He couldnt hold Cam Newton's jock.  He might pray over it but he couldnt hold it let along wear it.
  I've sent my information to the Heisman Trust and let them know I'm voting for Cam Newton.  If they actually use my vote that would be awsome.  I've got this feeling that some smug fuck isn't counting mine though. Fuck him!  I'm more of a fan then any of them stuffed suit wearing cocksucking voters are!
  I'm letting you know now it doesn't matter what happens next week in the SEC Championship game.  This kid wins the Heisman unless he's proven guilty of fucking the dean of student's poodle.  This kid has game and will go down as the greatest qb ever in the college game.  Don't look for him to be back at Auburn next season so enjoy it now sports fans!

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Warfrog: The Man. The Myth. The Legend?

  5'11 175lbs. with curly long hair down to his shoulder blades.  Thats Ronnie "WarFrog" Britt.  He'll tell you he's 6ft tall.  He'll tell you he's 235lbs. Both are lies.  (kidding here!)  I've known this man for 43 of his 45 years.  We grew up together.  Our mother's were best friends from the Ozarks of Missouri and Arkansas.
   Both of these women are true ladies.  They had a lot of shit in common. Two sons who grew up to be best of friends.  After it's all said and done, we are family. With our childhood, both of us mostly grew up poor.  Our parents did the best they could.  Ronnie and I both had demons about who our fathers were but we dealt with it ok.  We both grew up kind of different.  We were both in our own world. We never seen or heard people making fun of us but you know they had to be!
   Our families moved from the Ozarks to a small town.  Once again we grew up together doing shit that kids do.  When we were younger I was more of the ornery one.  Ronnie was more of the dude who would stop and say..."Yammy!  Stop or we are going to get some spankings!"  I would laugh and go on.  The next thing you know.. Our asses would be beat till they were red as fuck!
   At about the age of 10 or so, Ronnie and his family moved south.  When I say south, I mean 22 miles south.  For a 10 year old that's a fucking country away!  I mean we are best friends but we can't be with each other anymore!  What the fuck are our parents thinking?  Ronnie's parents were thinking what's best for Ronnie, Shelly, Jaque and Klisa.  After 25 years of hating this decision, i've come to peace with it!
  Life goes on.  We get to see each other on weekends.  It's all good now!  He's either at my house or I'm at his house.  Let the fun begin!  At about this time I begin to reach out.  I'm the kid who was kicking everyone's ass whenever I could.  Ronnie was always the peace maker.  He'd stop me and tell the other kid that he was sorry for me kicking their asses.
   About this time, we are both getting into high school.  He's got shit going on.  I've got shit going on.  We still stay in touch alot.  In a NON gay way, we miss each other.  He graduates from his "TINY" highschool and moves on.  I get my diploma and I move on.  I find the woman of my dreams and he's still trying to find himself.  It's all good so far.  Next thing you know I get married to this beautiful woman and Ronnie is in my wedding!
  He gets married later and enrolls in college.  NOW here's where it gets interesting.  This fucker walks on to the football team and 4 years later he's the fucking team captain!  Hard work motherfuckers!!!  It's all about hardwork!
   Now lets get nutty and go 20 years later!  Ronnie is still Ronnie.  Goofy as fuck just like me.  He's been fighting MMA for almost 20 years for a few different promotions.  Now he's fighting for MCC out of Des Moines Iowa and he's a local living legend!  I'm proud, I'm jealous, I'm blessed to call this man my family!
  Were here in Des Moines to watch this now 45 year old fucker fight.  Why's he fighting you ask?  He has his reasons!  I will leave it at that.  I watch a few fights and get kind of bored.  I drink a few more beers.  I amuse myself by watching people.  Then the "Warfrog" gets to the ring.  Now I'm on the edge of my seat.  I have to be honest here... My heart is racing.  He's my friend and I love him.  It's time to worry just a bit!
   This old cocksucker named Ronnie "WarFrog" Britt is about to bring it on!  Family is all around.  Once again, he's not cocky, he's Ronnie.  He's in his own world as am I and this world is an invitation only place to be!  Ronnie comes out in his trusted kilt and walks to the ring.  The crowd is in a frenzy!  I've got goosebumps everywhere.  Ronnie gets his freak on in the ring with the man he's fighting.  It gets kinda nutty and all but Ronnie makes this stud give up.  Next thing you know the crowd goes nuts again!  After it's all said and done Ronnie decides at his age to jump the cage!
   He jumps to the otherside and proceeds to give his friend Marcus some respect.  Fight over!  This 45 year old man has jumped another hurdle.  Let's pray he's getting over the hurldes of life.  He's a great man.  A man I love!  A man who can make a difference if he wants.  He's someone that I tell my kids to look up too.  He's a role model!  He is A Man.  He is The Myth .. He is the Legend!
    From your family Ronnie, we love you!

MidWest Cage Championships! The Thanksgiving Throw down!

  I'm not a big follower of UFC or any of it's knock off promotions. You know.  The local ones that try to bring out the rednecks to kick each others asses all over the cage.  With these promotions you average like 200 to 300 people paying money to get drunk and yell for their favorite wanna be fighter.  I've been to these..  I've came out unimpressed.  To me it's a "Pro Wrestling" wannabe.
   Now in the state I live, there's a small but fast growing company called Midwest Cage Championships.  It's a finely tuned company that seems to be well ran by it's founders.  There's a few hometown kids trying to move up the ranks of MMA and this is where they are trying to get their start.  I've got a cousin that is like a local legend with this company.  He's retired once and is coming back into the cage for some reason he only knows.
   I find out he's fighting again and I get a hold of him.  My oldest daughter loves this shit with a passion.  After we talk I get some tickets.  I find out the fights are the night before Thanksgiving.  Thats o.k. with me, because I've got the next 4 days off from work.  I have a brother that lives within a half an hour from the venue so I get him and his beautiful wife tickets also.  Along with my 14 year daughter, I have 6 people going to see some ass kicking action!
  After fucking around for an hour or so, we finally get to the venue.  We mingle around for a bit.  I run into some people I've known for years.  We talk and hang out for a bit more.  It's getting closer to fight time.  I'm kind of excited and am looking forward to some serious action!  Then I get to looking around some more.  Now here's where it get's retarded as fuck.
  I'm watching people mingle around.  I'm watching fighters getting some last minute time with family members.  I'm watching wife look at all the fighters asses in their tight spandex shorts.  (It happens!)  My brother and I get a few beers and I really get to looking around.  The first thing I notice are a bunch of skinny ass pill poppin cocksuckers who think they are tough walking around in "TapOut' shit.  I shake my head at the idiots.
   The only fight these motherfuckers have ever been in are the ones where they got there asses beat by the fat chick in 4th grade.  I look around some more.  I rib my brother and have him look at some girls that I'm checking out.  We both shake our heads in disbelief.  I swear to God above we've ran into a few different gals.  The ones who think they are from that stupid ass fucking show "Jersey Shore".
   Then there is the ones who have their hair teased to the fucking moon.  The "Ozark County" hairdo.  The "Jersey Shore" girls think they are high class.  The "Ozark County" girls are more country.  Both are sluts!
  With the Jersey girls you have mini-skirts so high up you can see where the babies come from.  With the Ozark County girls, they have more camel toe then the San Diego Zoo!
   Then theres the dudes.  Guido's walking around with their shirt sleeves rolled up like they are the next big fucking thing.  Here's how it is Dominic.  Your a goddamn tool!  Don't forget it!  Then you've got the hat wearing backwards lil bitches.  They are walking around like they are some kind of ass kicking machine.  The worst ones are the ones who stand 5ft tall.  Fucking midgets make me laugh!
  Now to the fights.  The fights went well.  The local boys get their asses beat.  They did good but lost!  Shit happens.  The cousin makes waves by kicking some fuckheads ass.  Looking good so far!  Then there is the BOSNIAN! haha  He's some local hero who's built like a fucking truck.  He's getting his ass rocked till he wakes up..  BOOM!!!  He chokes his opponent out!  Win for the Bosnian!  The crowd goes wild.
   Next thing you know the lights come up.  It's then I realize that there is a shit load of NASTY ASS UGLY Jersey girls walking the planet!


Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Baggy Pants

  Today I've got the day off from work.  I'm starting a 4 day mini vacation over the thanksgiving weekend.  I'm looking forward to having a few days off to hang out with family and friends.  The beautiful wife of mine and I go out for lunch.  We enjoy ourselves before we have to go and pick up the youngest daughter from school.
   We finish our lunch and head to the school to pick her up.  The kids are getting out 2 hours early to start off the 4 day weekend for them.  We pull up to the school and begin our trek through the parking lot to the front of the school to pick the kid of ours up.  Along our way, we notice all the kids dispersing from the front of the school.  Seems to me all of them are excited about the few days off.  Good for them I think.
  Then the wife and I notice these two walking peckergnats cutting in front of our car.  First of all that pisses me off for the way they cut in front of us.  Thats not the half of it though.  I look at these two jacktwats and notice that their fucking pants are half way down the back of their asses.  Now I'm thinking.. Do these two bitches think thats cool as fuck?  Can't they afford a goddamn belt?  Are they just plain ass fucking retarded?
   It was brought to my attention that  few fuckheads were suspended from school yesterday for dressing in girls clothes.  Now heres my next question.  You can suspend a douchebag for wearing some goddamn bows in their hair and wearing a few girly t-shirts but you can't suspend some idiot for wearing pants down to his fucking ankles and showing me their shit stained boxers?
   That's the pot calling the kettle black motherfuckers!  Get your shit straight now.  You need to take these little parasites of society and make them wear their goddamn clothes right!  If you can take some idiot "tweener" wearing a bow in his hair and suspend him then you can take these fucking morons and get it right.
   Now to my bitch about these kid's parents.  Who's the fucking moron that let's their kids dress like this?  Someone needs to walk up to these parents and punch them right in the cocksucker!  (thats the mouth people)  Oh thats right.  The parent is probably some crack smoking cock sucking single mother who's husband has left her for some fat chick from last summers town carnival. Well if that's true, you need kicked in the twat and sent packing your way to Alabama!
   It's time for a dress code at the school.  I know I know I know theres already one in place.  Well you douches running the school board pull your heads out of your asses and fucking enforce it!  If you can't enforce it, then hire the right people to enforce it!  This isn't rocket science morons!  Make the little cunts pull their goddamn pants up!
   To the idiots wearing their pants like this.....  Don't be a fucking moron.  Pull your goddamn pants up and try to be someone in society.  If you don't, theres a good chance I'll be reading about your dumb asses in the next few years about how your going to prison for trying to steal lottery tickets.  You have two options fuck heads. Pull up the pants or plan on getting your easy access'd ass fucked from behind in prison for a good 2 to 7 years.

The upside of beer.

     In all of my years, I've come across a few things I'm good at.  When I say good at, I mean REAL good at.  I'm good at sales. (Great)  I'm pretty good at cooking.  I'm good at finding honor among thieves. (finding good in everyone)  The one thing I'm really good at is drinking beer.
  I love my wife.  I love my kids.  I love to cook.  I love athletics.  I love good music.  I love people in general.  I love beer!
    Through the years I've come to appreciate beer more and more.  Beer makes the world go around as we know it.  Beer can make enemies become friends.  Beer can make love happen.  Beer can make babies happen.  Beer can turn ugly people beautiful.  Beer can just about make life grand!
   A lot of people don't like beer.  That's ok in my book.  Just don't judge we people who love beer.  Beer can make fat chicks look like Jessica Biel.  Having a beer with someone is a great conversation starter.  Drinking to much beer can make you a bad ass.  Beer can make you smarter in your own eyes.  Beer can make your clothes fall off.  Beer can make you wish you were never born.  Beer has alot of powers.  Tons of powers!  The ultimate powers!
   Beer can get you laid!  Beer can make you a mommy or a daddy.  Beer can make you eat biscuts and gravy at three in the morning.  Beer can make you famous in your town with a mug shot.  Beer can help you overcome your fears.  Beer can make you want to sky dive without a parachute.  Beer can make you drive backwards because you don't want to see what your going to hit.  
    Beer makes watching sports more enjoyable.  Beer makes any discussion better.  Beer makes sleep better.  Beer makes you funnier.  Beer is the fruit of the finest people to have ever walked the face of the earth.  
     After a few beers, I think alot.  I wonder how life would be with out beer.  Then I get depressed.  Personally, I feel that beer needs to be the official drink of the USA.  Beer drinkers alike, LETS UNITE!

Why do people question?

    Today was a pretty good day.  I seen a few people that I haven't seen in awhile.  I ran into Bryant, Josh and Matt at the ball game.  It was nice to see them.  3 cool dudes with bright futures ahead of them.  Josh owes me some beer.  Bryant owes me some jerky.   Matt owes me.... Let me think... I'll get back to him!
   I went to work in a good mood.  I actually got some work done today.  After I was done with my tasks I decide to go upfront and help some of the other co-workers.  I get this one lady who comes to the register with her hands full.  I help her with her purchase.  The gal running the register rings her up.  I help her with her bags.  It's then I say as nice as I can... "I want you to have a great day."
   Right after I say this, this lady looks at me like I'm the fucking anti-Christ.  "Why would you care if I have a great day?"  This kind of stuns me... I sit there scratching my head and balls at the same time.  (I hope she didn't see my balls getting scratched)  I think for a second.  Then I respond..  "I want everyone to have a great day."  I tell her.  What the fuck am I supposed to say?  "I hope you crash your car and your head gets cut off you fucking dead beat cunt."  Now thats fucked up!
  As she's leaving, I'm thinking am I an asshole?  Did I do anything wrong?  Fuck no I didn't!  About a half hour goes by and another customer comes in.   At this time I give one of my people a break.  So here I am at the register trying to help this dude as best as I can.  Once again I try to break the silence by asking.... "How's your day going?"  He responds... "I aint dead yet."  Now how the fuck am i supposed to respond to that?
    Do I look at him with a straight face and say... "I hope you don't die soon because I need you to pay this goddamn bill?"  Do I look at him and say.... "If you die tomorrow, I'll make sure to stop by your grave and piss on it?"  Do I say.... "I'll make sure I come to your funeral and make sure your dead because your a fucking douchebag?"
   What about the crack head, toothless, hairlip twat that comes in and bitches because some of the prices are to high on the ingredients she needs to make meth?  What do I say then?  Do I say... "I'd have you suck my cock but I'm afraid your tounge will give me herpes"?  Do I grab a set of pliers and pull the rest of her rotting teeth out?  Or do I just pull out a gun and scream at the top of my lungs...."In the name of welfare abuse I find you guilty!"
     Here's my bitch people.  If someone is being nice to you, be nice back.  Don't be some angry fuck who's life sucks assholes.  Be goddamn pleasant.  It's not everyone else's fault you a dead beat cunt who's never going to amount to shit!  Lighten up and enjoy life you miserable bastards!