Thursday, November 25, 2010

MidWest Cage Championships! The Thanksgiving Throw down!

  I'm not a big follower of UFC or any of it's knock off promotions. You know.  The local ones that try to bring out the rednecks to kick each others asses all over the cage.  With these promotions you average like 200 to 300 people paying money to get drunk and yell for their favorite wanna be fighter.  I've been to these..  I've came out unimpressed.  To me it's a "Pro Wrestling" wannabe.
   Now in the state I live, there's a small but fast growing company called Midwest Cage Championships.  It's a finely tuned company that seems to be well ran by it's founders.  There's a few hometown kids trying to move up the ranks of MMA and this is where they are trying to get their start.  I've got a cousin that is like a local legend with this company.  He's retired once and is coming back into the cage for some reason he only knows.
   I find out he's fighting again and I get a hold of him.  My oldest daughter loves this shit with a passion.  After we talk I get some tickets.  I find out the fights are the night before Thanksgiving.  Thats o.k. with me, because I've got the next 4 days off from work.  I have a brother that lives within a half an hour from the venue so I get him and his beautiful wife tickets also.  Along with my 14 year daughter, I have 6 people going to see some ass kicking action!
  After fucking around for an hour or so, we finally get to the venue.  We mingle around for a bit.  I run into some people I've known for years.  We talk and hang out for a bit more.  It's getting closer to fight time.  I'm kind of excited and am looking forward to some serious action!  Then I get to looking around some more.  Now here's where it get's retarded as fuck.
  I'm watching people mingle around.  I'm watching fighters getting some last minute time with family members.  I'm watching wife look at all the fighters asses in their tight spandex shorts.  (It happens!)  My brother and I get a few beers and I really get to looking around.  The first thing I notice are a bunch of skinny ass pill poppin cocksuckers who think they are tough walking around in "TapOut' shit.  I shake my head at the idiots.
   The only fight these motherfuckers have ever been in are the ones where they got there asses beat by the fat chick in 4th grade.  I look around some more.  I rib my brother and have him look at some girls that I'm checking out.  We both shake our heads in disbelief.  I swear to God above we've ran into a few different gals.  The ones who think they are from that stupid ass fucking show "Jersey Shore".
   Then there is the ones who have their hair teased to the fucking moon.  The "Ozark County" hairdo.  The "Jersey Shore" girls think they are high class.  The "Ozark County" girls are more country.  Both are sluts!
  With the Jersey girls you have mini-skirts so high up you can see where the babies come from.  With the Ozark County girls, they have more camel toe then the San Diego Zoo!
   Then theres the dudes.  Guido's walking around with their shirt sleeves rolled up like they are the next big fucking thing.  Here's how it is Dominic.  Your a goddamn tool!  Don't forget it!  Then you've got the hat wearing backwards lil bitches.  They are walking around like they are some kind of ass kicking machine.  The worst ones are the ones who stand 5ft tall.  Fucking midgets make me laugh!
  Now to the fights.  The fights went well.  The local boys get their asses beat.  They did good but lost!  Shit happens.  The cousin makes waves by kicking some fuckheads ass.  Looking good so far!  Then there is the BOSNIAN! haha  He's some local hero who's built like a fucking truck.  He's getting his ass rocked till he wakes up..  BOOM!!!  He chokes his opponent out!  Win for the Bosnian!  The crowd goes wild.
   Next thing you know the lights come up.  It's then I realize that there is a shit load of NASTY ASS UGLY Jersey girls walking the planet!


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