Sunday, October 31, 2010

Douche of the week #3

  Once again my friends it's time to name the douche of the week. This week are going local in my hometown.  If anyone from this hometown is reading this, theres a good chance you know this fucking moron.
  He's the dude who comes from some money but has pissed off his parents so much that he's probably fucked out of any kind of pay off in the future.  He's so fucking stupid that he told his farmer dad to fuck off because the man wouldnt give him more money for his help.
   Plain ass told the old man to go fuck himself!  This is after old mom and pops gave him everything his whole life.  Gave him vehicles.  Gave him insurance.  Gave him MONEY. Gave him a free house for awhile.  Gave this cocksucker everything.  Then he shits on his family when they won't give out more money.  Now that's a fucking douchebag!
  This fag has had more skank pussy then you can shake a stick at!  He's fucked some of the nastiest things the worlds ever known.  My lord he's a fucktard!  He's into lifting weights and all. Thinks he's quite the badass but when you confront him, he's the biggest pussy known to man.  I'm laughing my ass off thinking how much of a fucking pussy he is.
   He's the cunt who pimps his current woman (wife) out on so she can get some cock.  The reason why he does this you ask?  Because the asshole can't get a stiffy!  NOW thats some funny shit!
   He's the one who has his nose up everybody's ass trying to figure out their business.  Sucking ass so he can know everyone's shit!  What a fucking tool!  This is how fucking stupid this prick is... He's having heart problems.  He needs surgery...  A common surgery. Very COMMON!
   Next thing you know, the stupid fuck decides he needs to get married to this skank he's with!  He's telling everyone he might die.  (We could only get so fucking lucky!)  He has his surgery.  He lives. (Damnit!)  He takes a few weeks off of work.  Then the fucker comes back to work and is more of a cunt then before.  BECAUSE HE FEELS 20 YEARS YOUNGER NOW!
   My biggest problem is that he makes everyone's life a living hell.  What I want to see is someone stand up to this cunt and tell him to fuck off.  CAN you HEAR ME!?!?  Just stand up to his fag ass and all will go away.  Now thats the douche of the week #3!

Saturday, October 30, 2010

All Hallows Eve.

Tomorrow is the day of All Hallow's Eve.  Also known as Halloween.  With Halloween, you have kids dressing up and going around begging for candy.  A smiple thing in my mind.  First of all I love kids.  Second of all I love candy!
  When you get older, the best part is dressing up and going to party's acting a fool.  I've got a DEAR friend that is cool as shit.  He's the type of guy you want as a best friend.  His only fault is that he thinks that all pimps are cool.
   Example:  I go to his house last week... He shows up in his pimp outfit and proceeds to pour beer all over me.  I never get mad... Wanna know why?  Because I'm the nicest guy going today!
   He's walking around like he's fly as fuck.  God bless him!  Little does he know he walks like a duck.  Thats ok.....  He's still fly in his eyes!   The problem is.... I mean I love this guy but he's a nerd.  He thinks he can speak multiple languages.  Personally I have this feeling that he has a hard time speaking english.  Maybe it's me but I've heard rumors that he can't speak his own name.
  He tells me he's a real man.  He has chest hair.  I laugh.  I have ass hair that i dont talk about.  BUT NO!  The PIMP has to talk about his chest hair.  Is this to make him sound tough?  I've got this feeling he's got a low self asteem problem.  Know what I think?  I don't give a fuck!  He poured beer on me!
   My goal for this man is for him to wake up and figure out that he's just normal!  Normal like you and I!  He's no more important then any one else.  What do i bitch about all the time?  Treat everyone equal!!!  We are one with the same chances!  Its if you choose to work with your chances!
    Long story short... Mr. Pimp.  Shave your chest hair and remember that we are equal!  Even when my football team beats yours, I will try and respect you sir!  When we get on equal ground sir maybe I can show you how to smoke meats.  God bless your attitude sir!

Butts and boobies

  Holy moly!  Today I went and seen my favorite college football team in all of America!  I get up early and wait for my friends to pick me up.  I've got a couple of coolers of food and beer ready for the trip.  We get started.  We have to stop because I'm an idiot and forgot my coffee.  Thats ok!  I grabbed a paper so I can read up on how bad the world is today.
   We get back on the road and all is well.  We sit back and converse about football and how our favorite team can do this and that if they keep winning.
  We're driving along with tons of coffee and some breakfast sandwiches.  Our hopes are high but we are cautious about the upcoming game.  Our team just knocked off the #22 team in the nation last week.  Hell yeah! Fuck yeah!  We might be able to win this game!
  We finally get to our destination.  We set up camp.  Break out the grills and such.  Crack a few beers in the A.M.  NOT something we normally do.  We aren't Hawkeye fans here!  We drink socially!  WE DO NOT DRINK TO EXCESS!
   Camp is set up.... We kick back and start to eat and drink a few.  The next thing you know the college crowd starts to show up.  I'm all about college fun.  I'm all about young adults living life to the fullest!  They are bustling in and all is going well... Beautiful weather.  Beautiful people all around.  Then the coeds start showing up.  Oh Jesus above!
   Theres three of us.  I'm the youngest of the trio.  We're all sitting back wearing sunglasses.  Next thing I know my friend Dave says..... "Hey look at that ass on that chick!"  Being stupid as I am, I look.  Next thing you know were looking at each and every piece of ass walking by.  Mike says...."Thats an ass you can love forever".  I cringe.  Dave says.... I'd spank that ass every night!"  I cringe again.  Till..........  The heart shaped ass shows up.... I try to stop my sentence but it's to late.  NOW I know I'm going to hell for this but I have to admit I said it.  I say... (Lord please forgive me!)  "I'd swim a mile her of her shit to find out where it came from!"
  My lord I'm a fucking retard!  Next thing you know my boys are talking about boobies.  They are comparing who has the best cheerleader boobs in the NCAA!  I'm speechless till I crack my next beer.  They boys start talking about USC cheeleaders tits.  I say HEY!  What about Iowa State's cheeerleaders tits?!
  They laugh... I wonder why... They continue to tell me.  Every big school has hot cheerleaders with fake tits. Iowa State has ladies with natural tits.  They aren't t.v. ready!  I'm like what the fuck... THEN I look around.  ISU has some sweet asses... ISU has some sweet looking gals.. ISU has some nice legs... ISU has no TITS!
   As much money that is donated for athletic programs why can't we get our cheerleaders some fake ass tits!?    Thats my question for the day!  Till I get my answer, I'll just have to enjoy my gals with country asses!

Friday, October 29, 2010

Welfare abuse! A system in trouble.

  I've harped on a few things in the past that drive me fucking nuts!  Now I've got one that will put me over the edge.  It's called welfare abuse.  The meaning of welfare is to help someone who is down on their collective luck.  It's meant to make life a little bit easier till the needy person can get back on their feet.
   We have different forms of welfare.  We have the WIC program.  This program is designed to make sure that kids are taken care of incase the parents can't do it them self.  We are talking free milk, cheese, diapers and other assorted things.
   We have Title19.  This is something that can help people with low rent if not free housing.  It can help you get low utilities if not free utilities.  We have food stamps.
  With food stamps, you can go to the grocery store and get pretty much all the food you need free!  The kicker is that you can't buy booze or smokes.  Seems simple to me.  We have all of these types of help for people who can't help themselves right now.  NOW, my bitch is the people who abuse this shit!  These people are the worst form of life known to man.  I put them up their with drug abusers and thieves.  Pieces of shit in my eyes.
   I've seen girls get knocked up and have children..  God bless the kids.  These kids have nothing to do with mommy and daddy being pieces of shit.  Mommy squirts out a kid and life is grand now.  She's living in the basement of the so called in-laws living large.  Life is fucking grand!
  She's got food stamps that are shaped now into a goddamn credit card not to emberess her while she's in the checkout line.  (Bitch should be embaressed because she won't get off of her fucking ass to earn a living!)
  She gets free housing if she wants..  Now I'm pissed!  My kid is busting her ass in college paying bills to make ends meet while this welfare person is getting everything free.  Now that's fucked!  Somewhere along the line this person is getting free money to help ends meet.  Next thing you know she's buying fucking hair extensions!  With GOVERMNENT money to be exact!
    If that doesn't piss you off, then your living in a fucked up world!  Wake up America and get your shit together!  We as people of a free world need to stop this kind of abuse.  My wife and I work our asses off everyday trying to make right.  Millions of people everyday do the same. NOW we get some stupid bitch getting knocked up and living the life of a goddamn queen!  That my friends is fucked up!
  What about her fucked up mother who is about ready to get fired doing the same thing in the near future?  I'd say it's time to get some fucking jobs.  I dont care if it's at Wal-Mart or wiping ass at some nursing home!  Get a fucking job!  No more hair extensions!  No more free food for this lazy ass bitch living for free when she can work and make a differnce in this world!
  Next thing you know, 20 years from now I'm raising her grandkids the same goddamn way! Get some fucking backbone and work people!!! Stop the abuse!  Congress needs to step in and stop the fucking abuse!  I want to say sorry to my daughter that she can't abuse the system like some people do.  Your going to be better in the world then these gutter-rats will ever be!

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Douche of the week #2

   My douche bag of the week #2 is for anybody that is part of the retarded t.v. show "Glee."  It seems to be a decent show you can sit and watch till you sit and watch.  My lord above it's fucking stupid!  They are using modern day songs and musicals to make this show a hit!  I can understand the concept very much but I can't understand why they are making it so fucking stupid!
    They have all of these tweener retards as actors.  The cripple dude who thinks he can dance.  YOU CAN'T DANCE!  Simple as that fucker!  The bitch who is a cheerleader who thinks she can sing and dance.  YOU CAN'T!  Become either a stripper or a porn star!
  That straight up flaming homo playing the straight up flaming homo..... Get a fucking life bitch!  You can't act nor sing.   The dude who's supposed to be directing this shit.  Get off of this show before it ruins your career!  The cunt who was on "Two and a half men".......  You were funnier on that show then you will ever be on here!  Give up your fucked up shit!
  The dance routines!  My lord they want to make me puke!  You do NOT ever see that shit in the real world!  I want the real world fuckers!  Everyone on this show is a pussy!
   Get rid of this fucking show before it ruins society as we know it!  This is a fucked up show that will make t.v. even worse then it is!

When is enough enough?

  I'm going to be honest here.  Theres nothing better then looking at a fine piece of ass.  If you can see a tight piece of ass per day, your doing good!  It's like the old saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away."
   If you can see a sweet ass it's going to make your life so much better.  It's going to make your day go faster.  It's going to make you get home to your woman and treat her good!  I can handle any kind of clothing.  Good looking women with nice bodies prancing around in tight clothing showing off their goods is a good day.
    I love to see a women in a nice shirt that conforms to her tits.  Makes them look nice and firm.   I want to see a woman take care of herself before she goes out and struts her stuff.  The one thing that pisses me off is that fat piece of shit chick who thinks she can strut her stuff with it hanging out of the jeans and shirts.
   I seen a gal today at work who was wearing some tight ass jeans that hugged her ass like it was tinfoil wrapped over a hamhock.  Showing every goddamn ripple on her ass!  Then the bitch bent over and her jeans slid down a bit.  OH SHIT!  Next thing I know I see that green thong.
  The old "Whale Tale!"  I swear to God above I could see a bagel from last week hanging out of her ass crack.  Then when I go to help her, she drops something and bends over infront of me.  OH LAWDY!  HELP ME DEAR LAWDY!  She bends over and the next thing I know her tits are hanging to the fucking floor!  I swear to fucking God she has a tattoo saying "Mother" on her left boob!
   It was like a bad car wreck!  I had to stare.  Yes my friends, she caught me.  Then she smiles at me.  Next thing I know I'm getting anxiety wanting to get out of there.  I think I'm scare of fat asses and melon boobies!  
    What about the gals who wear them jeans that are so low cut in the ass and the front that all you ever see is ass crack and the top of pussies?  Is this cool?  Is this the best thing going?  I seen a gal the other day.  She was quite attractive and all.  I'm kinda checking her out.  I'm looking her up and down when I get to the front of her jeans.  These motherfuckers were cut so low in the front that I could see the top of her panties.  I could see where she should have had pussy hair.  I have no problem with this as long as they are swinging from a fucking stripper pole!
   If your going in public, act the lady!  Never act the fool!   I dont need some chick stretching to get something off of the top shelf and the next thing I know her "heynannynoony" is hanging out for every fuck to see!  Get your shit together bitches!  Its either do that or be labeled as whores!  It's your calls gals!
   Just do me a favor and either wear a belt of wear some real panties.  Do I think a thong is sexy?  Does a bear shit in the woods?  FUCK YES!  My goal is that the women of today do not look like tramps.  Thats it... Keep it kinda secret and make the man want you more ladies!

The New Golden Trio?

 Dwayne Wade, LeBron James and Chris Bosh... Is this the NBA's newest baby?  Is this trio going to bring the NBA to new heights?  I don't know if the league can get to new heights.  I've been watching professional basketball since my youth.  I used to love to watch the great teams.  Today's game isnt the same.  It's about some big mouth motherfuckers who think they are bigger then the game.
  Do I think this Heat team or the new look Celtics could have played in decades from the past?  Fuck no they couldnt!  IF any of the teams could of it would be the Celtics.  With Garnett, Allen, JerMaine O'Neal, Shaq O'Neal and Glenn (Big Baby) Davis they could compete.  The reason why is because they arent selfish.
   With the Heat, you have two huge ego's!  You have DeWayne Wade and LeBron James.  These dudes are good but they do have two of the biggest ego's in the NBA.  Chris Bosh is a great asset but he seems to get his ass hammered when facing some as good as him in the post.  I'm just wondering who's going to throw the first baby fit when it comes to getting the shots more?. Is Wade going to cry like a bitch or is James going to up and screw another team over again?
   If you take some of the teams from the 80's and 90's and played these two teams you'd be seeing some major ass kickin going on!  You had the Lakers and Celtics of the 80's.  With the Lakers, you had Kareem Abdul Jabbar, Ervin (Magic) Johnson, James Worthy and countless support players. Magic and Kareem would tear them all new assholes and not think twice about it.  Worthy would wait his turn then make them think twice about blinking after he drops a sweet jumper or hammers home a sick dunk!
   Don't forget the Boston Celtics led by Larry (Pasty) Bird, Kevin McHale, Robert (Big Chief) Parrish and countless support players.  Bird would have refused to lose!  He would have made you his bitch within the first quarter and not think twice about it!  Parrish would have blocked every shot and rebounded anything near him.  McHale...... Well, he'd knock your dick in the dirt faster then you can fart!
   Don't forget the late 80's early 90's Detroit Pistons!  This group of Motor City Madmen would beat you on the court then take you outside and kick your ass once again.  You had that little queer looking motherfucker Isiah Thomas running the show..  Bill Lambier kicking everyone's ass in the post..  Dennis Rodman rebounding anything on the floor.  Joe Dumar's running wild all over the court.  My God above they were fun to watch!
    Now to the 90's..... I'm not a real big Micheal Jordan fan but he could play some basketball.  I personally  think he's some rich ass spoiled cocksucker who cares about nothing but himself.  Thats just my opinion.  Nothing more.  Nothing less.
   With his teams, he did the unthinkable.  He won 6 world titles.  He had a mixed cast but a solid cast.  You had Jordan, Scottie (I wish I was as cool as Jordan) Pippen, B.J. Armstrong, Bobby Hansen, Scotty Kerr, Horace Grant and Bill Cartwright.  Then a few years later they added Dennis Rodman to dominate more!  Now think about it kids.. Could todays Heat and Celtics beat these teams?  Oh hell no!  They would cry themselves to sleep every night.
   Hell I get to thinking about it...  These new age kids wouldnt be able to play team ball.  James and Wade each need to shoot 30 times a goddamn game.  Who's the other motherfuckers that are going to score for you?  Sho nuff aint going to be that 9ft stick figure Chris Bosh.  He'll rebound a few balls but wont be able to do shit otherwise!
    Now off of my rant..  If people think this Miami Heat team is the newest game in town, look up history and talk to me when you've got your facts straight!  Then we'll talk!  Until then people respect the game. Respect the legands.  Respect the history.  And last but not least.  Fuck Kobe Bryant!  He's a rapist that got away with it!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Parochial School Athletics

  Here's my rant for the night.  I'm watching some great high school football and noticed one major thing.  The teams I'm watching are a fine small town team with tremendous tradition.  Then the other team is a private Christian school.
  Throughout my years of watching and being involved with high school athletics I've noticed that most of your state champions in all classes of high school athletics are parochial schools.  Most of these schools are tuition driven with better oppurtunities for it's students.
   With these private schools, you have better students because of better education.  You have better teachers because of better pay and better benefits.  You have better extra curricular programs because of more money coming into the schools.  The private schools also have the same things happening for them as do the public schools.  Thats using tax payers money to help their schools prosper.
  So, long story short.... You have taxes helping, you have donors happening, you have high priced tuition going on.  These aren't the same things that happen at any public school in the state.  The parochial schools already have a one up on everyone else in the state.
   Now to the athletic programs.  With parochial schools you can offer "scholarships" to needy students.  Now whats a needy student?  Only the private schools can tell you that!  With public schools you are stuck with the athletes that have enrolled in your district.  With private schools you can help the "needy" athletes with scholarships to pay for everything.
  With these scholarships, it can take care of tuition, books and even lunch money.  If this child/athlete needs some kind of athletic equipment, it's taken care of by school "donors".  If that happens in a public school it's against the state athletic commision laws.  Talk about bullshit here people!  Straight up bullshit!
   If you have a football player who is 6'3 235lbs and can run the 40 meter dash in 4.3 seconds enrolled at a public school that district is blessed!  If you have that same player playing at a parochial school he could be a 3rd string player because the private school is used to this type of athlete!
  What pisses me off is that if you have a public school and a private school in the same small town your going to have the parochial school getting the best students and best athletes because of what they can offer.  Your athletic department at the public school is cash strapped because of budget restraints.  The private school has all of the modern day,state of the art equipment that would get any Div1 college coach a huge hardon.  To me, this is fucked up!
  What really pisses me off is if I have a kid and my neighbor has a kid the same age.  These kids grow up best friends for the first 13 years of their lives.  I'm working a nine to five job and my neighbor is a pimp in downtown.  He's bringing in some sweet bank and I'm eating beenie weenie's everyday.  Our kids are the same level of athletes but my neighbor can afford the private school.  His kid is going to get that chance to become a division 1 athlete just because of where he goes to school.  My kid on the other hand has to work 3 times harder for the same chance.  I call bullshit on all of this!
  What about even more extra benefits?  In some states it's not uncommon for some kids to be driving a sweet ride that costs them nothing.  Public school athletes are riding the bus or driving a fucking 1973 Chevy Vega!  If you want a date for prom, the public school athlete asks a girl hoping she'll accept.  At the private school, the athlete can have his pick of sweet pussy from anywhere in the school.  Theres a great chance of him/ her getting atleast a blowjob.  The public school kid is going to have to either jack off or dream of it all week long.
   To end my rant, I have a suggestion.  Put the public schools in one pool.  Put the parochial schools in another pool.  You need to set classes according to school size in both pools.  Set it as a four or five classes in public schools.  Then set it as Large School Parochials and Small School Parochial's.  Seem pretty fucking simple to me!  Get rid of this high school/college experience for teenage kids.  This isn't the SouthEastern Conference in college athletics!  You don't need to dominate all high school athletics with how much money you have.  For once, be fair to the student athletes!

Playoff Football

Tonight is the start of Iowa High School Football Playoffs.  My partners and i were assigned a Class2A football game.  The matchup was between the districts number 1 team Des Moines Christian and the districts #4 team Underwood.  Underwood comes from a far superior district with plenty of great teams playing in it.
  We arrive at the stadium about a half an hour before kickoff.  The game was played at a neutral site for both teams.  It was played at the beautiful stadium of Johnston High.  It was one of the most state of art stadiums in the state of Iowa going today.
  We get all set up in the pressbox over looking the field at the 50 yard line.  My lord it's almost game time!  After looking over pre-game notes I notice neither team passes much.  I guess we'll see some grind it out running football tonight.
  It's one cold son of a bitch tonight.  Lows of about 39 degrees.  Winds are about 45 mph.  With the tempature and the winds, it's one cold motherfucker.  Underwood gets the football and they are running the old school Nebraska/Oklahoma wishbone offense!  Tons of running in the first half, only 3 passes thrown.  I look down and swear to God above that it's fucking snowing.  Halftime is here!  Des Moines Christian 14 Underwood 7.
   Second half starts and Des Moines Christian comes unglued and starts kicking the Eagles (pussy nickname) all over the goddamn field.  After a couple of huge touchdown runs, the Lions of Des Moines Christian are winning bigtime.  It's the middle of the 4th quarter and all we can think about is how damn cold it is and what are we going to eat.  
   The game finally ends with Des Moines Christian winning in a blow out over Underwood 40 to 13.  One teams season ends and the other moves on closer to the state title.  This is why I get up every morning and go to work.  I know at the end of the week I'm going to see 100 high school kids bust their collective asses to do good as a football team.  I'm going to see blood, sweat and tears every week.  This is Americana folks!  High School Football at it's very best!  My lord I can't wait till Monday for the next playoff games!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Pay it forward.

I'm sitting here tonight watching a fantastic movie "I am Sam".  I'm sitting here watching how a grown retarded man is wanting to raise his daughter. For this I applaud this movie!  I'm getting this feeling as I get older that everyone deserves a chance.
   I'm getting this feeling that we as society need to help one another.  If we don't help one another, then who the fuck will?
I'm to the point in my life where I feel it's time I make a difference.  I've gone through life living it by the balls.  I've always made sure to have fun and make as much fun as possible. Thats my life in a nutshell!
     I'm sick of corperate America wanting this.... Wanting that!  Making peoples lives miserable.  I want people to finally make a the decisions to help one another with whatever means they can.  I've got a little gal working for me who I admire for her work ethic and her positive attitude.  This beautiful thing just found out she's expecting a baby.  God bless her and God bless this unborn child.  We've talked and she knows it's going to be tough for awhile.   I want people to stand up and help people like this lady!  She's willing to put forth the effort to make her life and her unborn child's life better!  

   I want to see people take the time to help a homeless person... I dont mean taking them into their homes and all.... Take the time instead of throwing them some coins to maybe get them a meal.  Most homeless people are having troubles with either drugs or drink.  Do NOT throw them change so they can make enough money for the day to get drunk or high again!  Feed them and help them get ahead!
   I want people to take time to help a family get ahead with a house.  Maybe help build it.. Maybe donate to getting some things for the house.  It's not so much the parents in the house, its helping the kids who are being raised in it!
   What about making sure the elderly is getting taken care of?  Alot of older people are going without!  These people have given so much for all of us to be getting ahead!  We as a society need to take care of the ones who took care of us!  I need to get off of this rant now but I'm having a hard time doing it.  
    We who help one another will be rewarded in the end. "Rocco T. Yamsac"  I firmly believe in this.  Please do me a favor and look around and try to help others in need.  Theres more to life then being selfish!  God Bless All!

The Ten Commandments

Some people love me, some people hate me.  The one thing that most people pay attention to me is because I'm honest at all times.  I love to ask questions I want answers for everything. Somethings are different. Somethings are quite simple.  I just want answers.  Now it's time to look at the Ten Commandments.
   I promise to give you my honest opinions of everything that has been quoted and written about for centuries.  It might be warped to some but it might be the right thing for others.

“I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. You shall have no other gods before Me.  Now my question is... Who's right is it to say I can't worship another God?  Personally I feel that is fucked up!
2“You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My Commandments.     I've always been under the impression that being jealous isnt a good thing in the Lords eyes.  How come he can be jealous if I cant be?
3“You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain.  Is it that bad is I say Goddamnit?  What about the fucktards out there killing and robbing people in the Lords name?  Are we going to forgive them and forgive me for using the word goddamnit?
4“Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God. In it you shall do no work: you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your male servant, nor your female servant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger who is within your gates. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it.
   What about us poor fucks who have to work Sundays so we can feed out families?  Is that going to keep me from the gates of Heaven?  Do I have to ask for a waiver?  This commandment seems unfair to me!
“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.   I'm going to be honest here.  If I didnt honor my parents, then some serious ass whoopins were on it's way!  I dont care how many time I prayed for my soul, it didnt stop the belt from slapping my ass!
6“You shall not murder.   Heres where I get confused..... If you read the bible real deep I do believe you can ask forgiveness.  So I've come to the conclusion if I kill someone and am really sorry for it i can get in heaven.... If this aint true, let me know!  I know I've had ministers tell me this before.
7“You shall not commit adultery.    Ok.. I can understand that one.  What if I'm single and this one hot momma wants me to bend her over the counter and make her cum in 14 different languages?  Is that bad?  What if she's married and wanting my cock?  Am I going to hell for this?
8“You shall not steal.  What if someone stole from me and I stole it back because it was mine?  Am I going to hell for this?  If so, why?
9“You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.  What if the neighbor pisses me off for being a fucktard?  I think it's time to rethink this commandment!
10“You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's.”
   I can understand this completely...  I wont fuck the neighbors wife.  But what about that sweet ass around the corner two blocks down?  Can I bang her?  What if her ex-husband has a harley sitting in the garage?  Can I covet that motherfucker?  Let me know who I can bang and what I can ride people!


Monday, October 25, 2010

Another tailgate weekend!

  After a great weekend of college football it's time to catch our collective breathes.  Sit back and watch the BCS (bullshit) standings unfold.  I've got a few days till I get to my favorite university and help celebrate homecoming with tailgating. My team will be taking on the University of Kansas... I've got to be honest here when I say this.  I hate U of Kansas for one simple reason and one simple reason alone.  It's because the superintendent of our local school district roots for this team.
  My feelings about our superintendent is that he's a fag who needs to go with his stealing and cheating ways.  Another story for another time!  Now back to an ultimate tailgating experience!  Now everything is going to depend on if you use electric, gas or charcoal grilling.  I prefer charcoal grilling/smoking over anything.  Sometimes gas grilling/smoking works great during the colder months.
  To make this simple for the weekend I'm going to go through every scenerio for tailgating.  If your just wanting to grill some burgers, show up for the game a couple of hours early and enjoy the beer and burgers!  You can't go wrong with simple!  If you want to turn it up a little bit, bring a gas grill/smoker.   If you want to do steaks and dont have much time then gas grill some good meat.  If you have plenty of time then lets start smoking!
    You can use the most simple smoker if you want.  Just make sure you have plenty of time to enjoy yourself before kickoff!  If your smoking, make sure you have PLENTY of charcoal and tons of time.  If the kickoff is at 2pm, then show up at 7am and do chicken!  Kingsford is the charcoal of champions.  Make sure to have plenty on hand.  I'd say two large bags.  With chicken, I'd use either apple,cherry or peach wood.  Drown your charcoal with lighter fluid.... (Unless you have an electric charcoal starter)
    Now it's time to prepare the food while the charcoals burn.  For the novice I would use "Famous Dave's" chicken/pork rubs... This is a fantastic rub with tons of flavor.  If by chance, you can get a hold of "Hollands Carolina Rub" then grab it as fast as you can!  This rub is out of this world with the most flavor ever!
  Make sure you rub the chicken all over with your choice of rub.  Act like your giving your woman/man the best massage ever!  This rub should take over ten minutes to do!  Finger that chicken like a 19 year old virgin!  Make her feel the best she's ever felt.
   After about 15 minutes of burning, the charcoals should be ready.... Poor a little bit of beer on the chicken as you rest it on the grill.  If you don't have a thermometer, heres the easiest way to know if your food is done.  With white meat such as chicken or pork, the rule of thumb is 5 beers... With steak its between 6 and 8 beers depending on how cooked you want your meat!
   Let your food grill while we prepare some goodies for the sidelines.... How about some bacon wrapped jalapeno peppers?  Grab between 1 and 2 pounds of jalapeno's and go from there.  Cut open the peppers and core out everything.  When your done with that, spread some cream cheese in between the slices and close.. At this time begin to wrap some bacon around the pepper and throw it on the grill.  Within 15 minutes the peppers should be done!  Now enjoy your food and drink!  One last tailgating secret..... Get some ears of sweetcorn and butter that motherfucker up like your girlfriends asshole before launch!  Wrap it in tinfoil and have it sit on the grill for about 35 minutes!  Now my friends you've been tailgating!

A total uproar in the college football ranks.

  Last weekend was a great weekend for college football.  As we all know by now I'm a HUGE college football fan.  I have season tickets to an underachiever football program in the heart of the midwest.  Yes my friends we lose and yes my friends we lose alot.  Thats ok in my book!  Wanna know why?  Because I love college football!
   This last weekend we had some pretty good matchups.  #1 Oklahoma vs. Missouri.  #17 Wisconsin vs. #18 Iowa, Iowa State vs. #22 Texas.  All games are going to be good.  Mizzou knocks off the #1 team in the nation on national t.v. making the world go crazy!  Wisconsin takes care of Iowa in Iowa City in a certain ESPN Classic game.  Then we come to Texas.  The #22 ranked Texas Longhorns are favored by 21 points over the lowly Iowa State Cyclones.  ISU has been beaten the last two games by Utah and Oklahoma by the score of 120 to 27.  It's not like ISU sucks or anything.  It's just that they are in the second year of the new head coach Paul Rhodes and his style of play.  Give him 4 years and see where he's going.  Till then, leave him the hell alone.
  I have to work all day Saturday but I'm keeping track of the Hawk game.  I'm noticing how it's going back and forth all day long.  I finally get off of work and get home to see the last 4 minutes of the game.  Iowa's got the ball and driving.  Taking time off of the clock like they should be.  Ricky Stanzi is looking fantastic in leading his team.  They get to the 40 yard line with 16 seconds to go and are about to spike the ball to stop the clock.  BUT NO!  Head Coach Kirk Ferentz calls time out.
   With time called at about 12 seconds with it 4th down Ricky looks at Ferentz with the attitude of "what the fuck are you doing?"  Play comes in.... Iowa fucks up... Game over!
   Mizzou kicks Oklahoma all over the goddamn football field in its game... Not much to tell but that the Sooners are pussy's that wont get over it for awhile.  Nice job Gary Pinkel and The Missouri Tigers.  Now it's time to talk about the Texas Longhorns vs. the Iowa State Cyclones.
   Iowa State went down to Austin a 21 point underdog.  The Horns were all cocky for knocking off #5 Nebraska last week.  Guess what happened?  Iowa State dominated for 3 quarters!  Texas didn't know whether to shit or go blind trying.  ISU knocked Texas in the mouth over and over again.  Texas bled like a whore on her rag.  Texas did mount a comeback in the 4th quarter but couldn't reach down deep in their souls to beat the Clones!  Texas was treated like a bitch all day long!
   After the game, reporters asked Longhorn players about all of this shit... Players responded.... "We should never lose to an Iowa State program!  We're better then that!  We are Texas!  This is a disgrace!!"  Wanna know what I think?  FUCK YOU TEXAS!  Win with grace, lose with grace!  Simple as that you spoiled ass country fucks!  If you can't handle it, then go back to your farm and fuck a goat.  Get over it ya big ole dummy fuck!  Better times are coming.  OR even better, maybe the Clones are on their collective ways to being a team to reckon with!   Jump on the bandwagon people!!! 2 more wins and ISU is in the bowls!!!

The Brett Favre Jenn Sterger saga.

I'm a huge fan of football.  Infact, I love the game with a passion.  I've got to be honest, I love the college game more then the pros but I will watch either at anytime I can.  I've watched either live or on t.v. some of the greatest quarterbacks of all time. 
  I've seen Troy Aikman, Dan Fouts, Dan Marino, Joe Montana, John Elway, Steve Young, Terry Bradshaw and last but not least Brett Favre.
   If you notice, each and everyone of these names I mentioned are in the Pro Football Hall of Fame except Brett Favre.  The reason he's not in there is because he's still playing at a high level even at the age of 40 years old.  Out of all of these hall of famers Brett has gone down as most likely the greatest quarterback of all times.  He simply owns virtually every record possible for quarterbacks.  He has a Super Bowl ring.  He's done it all!
  He started in Atlanta with the Falcons then was traded to the Green Bay Packers.  He spent something like 15 years with the Packers till they decided he was to old for them.  He then went one year to the New York Jets.  After that he's been spending his time with the Minnesota Vikings for the last two years.
   His first year with the Vikings was nothing but spectacular!  He took the Vikings to the NFC Championship Game where they were unseated by the eventual Super Bowl Champs, The New Orlean Saints.  Brett decides to come back to the Vikings for one more season.  Things aren't going as well as people would like then all of a sudden BOOM!  A new scandal starts.  It's a scandal where Brett admits leaving voice mails to the hottie Jenn Sterger.  At the time when he was in New York, she was working for the Jets football team.  
   I guess after listening to the voice mails Brett wanted to slide his cock inside of this little hottie.  Fair enough I say.  He's a married man who knows what could happen if his wife finds out.  I guess my opinion is..... Good luck motherfucker!  Stick her as much as you can till momma finds out back home.  Then call your banker and hide as much money as you can. has all of the details if you need to read more about it.  It has the voice mails and such.. Infact, I guess Brett took some pictures of his cock and sent them to poor Jenn.  If you ever see these pics, your going laugh your ass off because if I was Brett and had that small of a cock I would have never EVER sent them on to someone!
   My rant today is about how the NFL is sticking its ass into the whole thing.  They are investigating if Brett did anything improper.  Wanna know what I think?  FUCK YOU NFL!  It's none of your goddamn business.  It's between Brett and Jenn.  No one else!  Infact, Jenn will not interview with the NFL.  Know what that means to me?  Jenn said fuck off NFL!
    This is something that needs to be addressed by Brett and Jenn themselves.  It has nothing to do with Roger Goodell and the NFL.  If Brett wants to go around and shake his little weenie at the ladies, thats his right till the ladies tell him to fuck off.  It's not Roger Goodell's problem!
   It's not like Brett shook his cock at the crowd after throwing a touchdown pass to Randy Moss!  I have to give Brett some credit for hitting on one hot bitch!  She could make a grown man cry with her looks.  My thing is.... I've heard the voicemails and it's Brett by far.  You will know his country bumpkin ass voice anywhere.  He's just saying that he didn't show his cock to her.  I wouldnt admit it either if I had that small of a wanger!
    Now to get off of my rant.  Roger Goodell and the NFL need to get off Brett Favre's back because he wanted to mount a hot chick.  Instead, look out for steriod abuse and other bullshit.  If Jenn doesn't want to talk about this situation, then leave her alone.  Maybe she enjoyed the attention of an NFL superstar.  Maybe she enjoyed looking at his tiny cock!  Leave well enough alone NFL!

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Another Vietnam!

I'm sitting here tonight watching one of the greatest movies ever made.. I'ts called  "When we were soldgiers".  Starring Mel Gibson, Sam Elliott, Madeline Stowe and countless others.  This movie was based on a true story..... If you ever get the chance, please watch this movie!  It will change your perspective on life in general!
  So, I'm watching this movie and I get to thinking to myself that this is one fucked up war.  It's a war over nothing.  I mean people on both sides died over jack fucking shit!
  40 years later we are in the same fucking bullshit!  We are battling in Iraq over nothing.  We have an ex-president who sold a bag of rotten goods to America saying that Iraq was going to hurt us bad.  Iraq had multiple weapons of mass destruction.  Iraq holds all the oil in the world and it will cripple to economy of the free world.  Guess what?    FUCKING LIES!
   The Vietnam War was a fucking lie and the Iraq War is a fucking lie!  George (Motherfucking) W. Bush is a stupid cunt who couldn't make up his own mind and had others start this war.  This is a war over nothing but revenge.  The revenge is because his retarded fucked up dad couldnt get Hussian out of power.  Jesus we are a fucked up society!
   We spend all this time in Iraq getting innocent American boys killed over nothing.  Now trust me when I say this, these men and women wanted to be there defending our freedom!  God bless all of them.  The sad thing is.... They defended nothing!  Bush should be brought up on trial for the killings of mass Americans who lost their lives for nothing!
  What about the innocent lives lost on 911?  That was brought on by a puke named Osama Bin Laden.  How come we didn't just get nutty and bomb the fuck out of Afganhistan?  NO WHERE did Iraq bomb us and kill so many people.... It's recorded and Bush knows this.... Osama Bin Laden takes full responsibilty for all of this shit!  Seek him out and kill him!  Very simple in my mind!
   Here's my problem!  Innocent people were killed in Vietnam over nothing.... 40 years later innocent people are getting killed in Iraq over greed and revenge.  It's time for this shit to stop!  Bush left office a few years ago but his fuckups are still getting innocent kids killed everyday!
  Another problem of mine is how the republican party and the media can blame Barrack Obama for all of this bullshit!  Obama didn't set the world behind money wise.  Obama didn't put our asses in danger with war.  He's getting blamed for not getting the troops out sooner then he is....The person to blame for all of this shit is Geogre W. Bush!
    Look up all of this bullshit and make your own opinion!  When you look it up, i hope you find the truth!!!
Mr.Yamsac is a TRUE independent!  I have no affiliation with any political party!  I only report the truth!

Jalapeno fury!

  My friend Boss and his beautiful wife Liz have done me a disfavor!  They've really turned me on to the southwest style of eating.  Myself, I have been used to the southeast style of food forever but I've learned from Boss and Liz's teachings to love the southwest style.
   Liz has taught me to use the world of peppers.  It could be banana peppers, habenero peppers, and the most popular pepper of all... The jalapeno!
 Boss and Liz have taught me the proper way of cooking with these peppers.  Using these peppers has seemed to become second nature to me.  I use them atleast 2 to 3 times a week now for one reason or another.  Now to my quandry.  The beautiful Liz has always told me to make sure to wash my hands after everytime using hot peppers.  She taught me well!  I love to wash my hands now!
    Last night we all hung out cooking and having a good time with a few very special friends.  My lord the party was a success!  We ate and drank a few.  Good times had by all!  What I brought to the table was...... Bacon wrapped tator tots.  Take a tator tot and wrap it up with a jalapeno slice and deep fat fry it!  After it's doing frying, spread tons of shredded cheese all over it!  Goddamn good comfort food here people!
   We have a few drinks and share recipe ideas all night long.  (Thats only when we were not reading the bible!)
Then we come up with a great recipe calling for more jalapeno's!  (Boss and I are the worlds greatest chef's!  You just haven't discovered it yet!)  Were talking about bacon wrapped jalapeno peppers with cream cheese in the middle.  Sounds damn good to me!
  I go to work today... (Not that Boss didnt try to make me feel bad last night!)  The only thing I can think of is bacon wrapped jalapeno's!  My lord I'm horny for this shit!   I get home from work and hit the local grocer!
I get my thick cut bacon!  I get my pound of jalapeno's!  I get my cream cheese!  I'm sweating from all of this fucking shopping!  Giddyup motherfuckers!  It's time to get home and cook!
  I fire up the grill.... (Grilling is the only way to go!  Charcoal grilling that is!)  I sit down and start to "core" the jalapeno's.  I'm digging out all of the seeds and stems from the jalapeno's.  I'm making sure that all of this shit is done right.  Then my nose itches.  Ya'll know when one part of you face itches, the rest of your face itches. So, I scratch my nose and rub my eyes.  MISTAKE!!!!!  Why in the fuck did I not listen to Liz!?!?!?!?
  She wasnt shitting me when she said wash your hands!  I'm so fucking stupid, I forgot to!
After about 15 minutes of my eyes swelling shut and having my cleanses cleaned out I'm doing good.  Infact, as I write this my eyes still burn.  I throw the chops and jalapeno's on the grill.  I'm letting it cook real nice and slow like it needs to bed.  I pop a few more beers and relax... (Remember folks that a pure Iowa Chop takes six beers to be done!)
   I get up and turn the chops and jalapeno's.... All is good .... The flame is real high now because of the bacon grease being dumped onto it.  It's about this time I have to piss.  I go in the house... I stop and talk to my beautiful wife for a bit.  Then it's time to piss.  I hit the bathroom and unzip.  I pull down my boxers a bit.  Then I reach and grab my wiener so I can piss bigtime.  At this time I've achieved satisfaction after urninating. My lord I love a godd piss!
   I zip up and go about my merry business... I go back outside and start grilling again.. Then I notice my cock is on fire!!!!!  Wanna know why?  JALAPENO's!  I touched my wiener!!!  Not a good idea!!  My lord I'm in pain!  SO i get smart and call my beautiful friend Liz and ask her for advice.... She tells me if i had ate the peppers she would have me drink milk.  Since my cock is on fire she adviced me to fuck a gallon of milk.....  Well, I'm out of milk... What the hell do I do?  I decide to sit in pain!
    Long story short friends.... If by chance your peepee gets caught on fire by peppers, remember this!  Make sure to fuck a gallon of milk... Cause Liz says so!

Saturday, October 23, 2010

DeAnna Favre

  If you don't know who Brett Farve is I guess you've pretty much been dead for the last 20 years.  If by chance you have no idea who he is, let me refresh your memory.  Brett led the Green Bay Packers to a world title with a Super Bowl win.  Infact the year after his victory he led the Packers back to the big game only to come up on the short end of the stick.
  Brett owns about every passing record ever recorded in the NFL.  He has made the great Dan Marino look mortal.  Brett's been good.  I mean damn good.  After he played with the Packers he went to the New York Jets.  He played there for 1 season till he signed with the Minnesota Vikings.
 Brett led the Vikings to the NFC Championship game... One game short of the Super Bowl.  A miracle New Orleans Saints win kept the Vikings from the big game!
  Now to Brett's second season with the Vikings.... He held out of training camp and all that bullshit.  Personally I called him a pussy for fucking his teammates over.  I guess he didnt want to work like the other folks up in Minnesota!  The season starts slow for Brett and the Vikings.  Losing a few here and winning some here.  Then it's time to play his former team the New York Jets.  Guess what happens?  Brett's accused of showing his weenie in a text message to a former Jet massage artist.  He supposedly sent her text messages of how he'd love to take care of her sexually.
   Now all of this shit has blown up big time!  I find it funny as fuck because SUPERIOR athletes do this shit all the time and now whitey has gotten caught!  Brett is being investigated by the NFL and I'm laughing my ass off over it.  Now it's time to talk to his beautiful wife DeAnna.  She's been behind him all of these years. Infact, Brett and DeAnna are fucking grandparents!
   DeAnna was there for Brett when his dad died and he put up unreal numbers on Monday Night Football.  DeAnna battled and won against breast cancer!  The hottie was even bald for a while.  Now with this shit going on DeAnna is in the middle of it with reporters asking her all sorts of questions.  May the Lord have mercy on her soul people!  She needs all the help she can get!
   When asked of what she thought of her husbands troubles, Deanna responded... "It's in the Lords hands."
What is she going to say when asked about her husband getting blowjobs?  "Its in the lords hands.... I'm thinking not really... It's in the whore who;s sucking his cock!
  What about when he had that bitch bent over the pool table?  Is that in the Lords hands?  NO!  Brett's hands were on either on her ass or her tits!  Wake up bitch!
What about when Brett was caught eating some cheeleaders pussy?   "Thats in the lords hands"  BULLSHIT!  The young cheerleaders pussy was in his hands!  Wake the fuck up girl!  If I'm you darling I'd take that country ass fuck for everything he has!  Make him pay the man.  He makes me wanna puke up my guts.  He might be one of the greatest to ever play the game but it's obvious that he's a straight up cunt!  If I'm you DeAnna.... Move on with your newly found millions and call me!  Everything will ok then.  Now if I can get my wife to understand!

Friday, October 22, 2010

Social bullshit!

 With this infatuation of facebook, myspace and other internet social gathering I've been thinking real hard.  I know facebook is a place for friends to interact when they aren't near eachother.  It's a place for family to re-connect.  It's a place to pretty much keep in touch.
  Here's my problem....  How come when kids get out of high school and are on there own whether it's in college or in the work force they are straight up lying while on these social websites?
 I mean I'm seeing people post to another how they'd love to get together and hang out the next time they are home.  The funny thing is.... The person who is wanting to hang out never EVER talked to this person while in high school together.  If they did talk, it was for the one person to ridicule the other person.  Wanna know what I think?  BULLSHIT!
  What about that girl who was a pill popping whore while in school?  How come everyone tells this person that they miss them and all that horseshit?  I mean you talked more smack about this bitch then anyone.  Now you want to hang out with them?  What the fuck are you thinking?  Now I'm thinking your a fucktard!  How come these people are wanting to hook up with not so good friends?  Are you people trying to be cool on myspace/facebook?  Are you trying to look like your a good person even though you used to call this dude a total douchebag?
   How come ya'll put up pictures making it look like your life is the greatest thing going today?  How come you don't put up pictures of you crying in your dorm room because your not the big fish in the little pond anymore?  Your more like the guppy in the Pacific Ocean!  How come I dont see that shit?  What about when your home and no one even tries to talk to you?  How come you dont post shit like that?  "I went home and I was still thinking I was still queen/king shit but everyone hates me now."  Where are these posts morons?!?!?
  What about that whore who gets knocked up in highschool and then has a baby... Next thing you know I'm seeing posted how every one wants to hold the baby.  God bless you for your actions of doing this.  My question is.... HOW COME you were calling the mother a "No good cumguzzler " the whole time she was in high school?
  Your saying how beautiful the baby is when you called the mother one ugly ass bitch while growing up.  I don't get it people!  How come your saying that your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend is such a great person but when you caught them fucking another person they were the worst person to walk to the earth?  I don't get it!
How come that cunt who thought that their shit didn't stink wants everyone to be their friend on the internet even though she treated everyone around her like total shit?  I dont get it!
  Do you people not realize that as soon as you recieved your diploma's that you were officially a NOBODY again?  It's now WELCOME to the real world!  No one cares if you were the stud athlete.  No on cares if you were the homecoming queen!  No one cares if you were the top of your class!  Here's what I'm going to find funny as fuck.....  When they have their 5 year class reunion, you are going to find the popular ones are going to still think they are popular.  The funny thing is that everyone else will be laughing at them.
  The dudes who were the so-called nerds will have every so-called single chick trying to suck their cocks because they have money or will soon be making some serious bank!  Now who's the whores!?!?!?
   Have fun with your social networking.  It's a great place to keep in touch with loved ones and old friends.  If your not doing that, you can suck my cock.  Your a fake ass fuck who will soon find karma.  Don't make life be something its not.  Be real and stay true to your real friends and family. Don't kiss some fuckheads ass to make yourself look good.  Your only making yourself look like a total peckergnat!

Heisman Hopeful

Anyone that knows me knows that I'm not a big Iowa Hawkeye fan.  I don't care what sport it is, I pretty much don't like the Iowa Hawkeyes.  It's not so much the teams, it's all about the whiny, cocksucker fans who bitch and moan or brag beyond all control..  Thats another story for another time.
   The one thing I constantly do is follow college football.  To me it's the greatest game ever invented.  Kids busting their collective asses off hoping to make it to the next level so they can make some serious bank.
Now I've been following the season pretty close.  Looking to see who's the top teams in the nation.  Iowa lost to Arizona in a real close game but I think they still have a chance at a National Title if they can win out.
  To win out, the Hawks need to knock off Wisconsin, Ohio State and Michigan State to name a few.  If they can do that, they should be looking at a BCS game if not a National Championship game.  What they need to do is have quarterback Ricky Stanzi keep playing like he has been.
  For the last few years it wasn't uncommon to call him "Pick Six Rick".  It never failed in a big game, he'd throw an interception for a touchdown.  Some games they would win, some games they would lose. NOT THIS YEAR!  He's thrown one pick six and that was against Arizona. Otherwise he's been the quarterback the Hawks have always wanted.
  Ricky's stats are really impressive this year.  I mean I'm more then impressed.  He's thrown for 1,474 yards with 13 touchdowns and only 2 interceptions.  His 180.50 qb rating is #3 in the nation behind Kellen Moore of Boise State (who plays no one!) and Cam Newton of Auburn. Two fine athletes where only one (Newton) plays real football.
   As in a past post I feel that Cam Newton can be the Heisman winner if he wants it.  He'll have to pretty much win out or put up some Jesus numbers.  My question now is.... What about Stanzi?  If this fucker can win out and not turn moronic with his stats why can't he win it all?
  He's on his way to throwing for 3,000 yards and like 26 touchdowns.  Not to goddamn bad in the BIG10 conference.  I'll say it once again.  If he wins out and has a chance at a national title game he could win the whole enchilada!
  Now if he loses more then 1 more game, the can kiss his ass goodbye and think about playing in the Canadian Football League.  He has the tools for the next level but people will question him on draft day for the NFL.
  Iowa has had one Heisman winner.  That was Nile Kinnick back in the 1800's.  They've had two players get second in the voting.  That was Chuck Long back in 1985.  (Got fucked royally when Bo Jackson won it!)  Then there was (I'm a pussy.) Brad Banks.  
  The one bad thing that happens to Hawks that are mentioned in the Heisman talk is that they can't do jack diddly shit in the pro's.  Chuck Long.  He was pretty much a back up in Detroit and Los Angeles.  Brad Banks.... He's still looking for a job.  I mean the poor fucker can't even work for Taco Bell because he's an idiot.
   Time to let go of my rant.  If Ricky can pull off these wins that he should be favored in he could actually become the next Heisman winner.  Thats if Cam Newton falls down and stubs his pinky toe.  Good Luck Ricky and fuck off Hawks!

Thursday, October 21, 2010


It's fall.  It's getting closer to Halloween.  The sun is going down sooner then it was 3 months ago.  The time is about ready to change.  Pheasant season starts next weekend for all of the hunters around this area.
   You know it's getting near opening day for pheasant season because a legendary local watering hole is having strippers tonight.  Did I go. No.... Personally I forgot. haha.  Would have my wife minded if I went.  No.  She would have thought that it's better for me to see naked pussy instead of bothering her after a nights drunk!
  I've been to the shakers/strippers many o' times.   I remember when I was like 19 years old walking into a bar after a night of bowling (another talent u never knew about!) and there was strippers there.  I'm walking across the bar area right infront of the dancers.  Next thing you know my special New York Mets hat was ripped off of my head and some stripper is pulling her pussy lips apart and rubbing the bill of my hat up and down her snatch.  I swear to God above that my blue hat turned green within seconds.
  I've seen gals who shake their asses for a living shoot ping pong balls out of their snatches for $100.00 bills.  I've seen skank smoke a cigar with their pussy's and make smoke rings.  God bless their talents!  I know a few single mothers who could make a good living at doing this!
  My questions are.... Why do females do this to themselves?  NOT that I'm bitching or anything, I'm just wondering.  Wanna know why they do this.  They make as much money as doctors in small towns.  It's not uncommon for a sweet looking dancer to make $250,000 per year!  Tax free motherfuckers!  
    Now back to tonight.  I remember a few years back when I was like 18 to 21 and working fulltime.  Not having a care in the world.  It's when I've got all this money in my goddamn pocket and it's time to blow it on pussy!  Little Susy spread her pussy.... I blow $10 bux.  Little Susy sticks a midget up her twat.. Time to throw out $20.00 bux.  Little Susy brings out her skank whore of a friend who has the worlds biggest crack habit wearing stretch marks around her mouth... Wanna know what I do?  Throw down another $50.00 bux!
   A few years go by.....   I stop at a few more dancer events.  I drop a few more dollars.  Then I realize..... These bitches are working me like a Chinese math problem.  Working harder then fuck to make me spend my money!
   Back in the day women had hair on their pussy's.  Now you could grab a rug doctor or a floor shiner to make this pussy look damn good.  I've seen a good looking girl take her fake ass boobies and rub them up and down a pack of like 12 guys faces over and over like it was an assembly line.  Then I've watched these morons throw out within 20 minutes over $500.00 bux.  Jesus I wish I had fake tits!
    Long story short sports fans.  I miss stippers but I dont need them.  I'm at the age where I can care less.  If I'm with some buddies and we happen to see some strippers I'll see if she wants me to tip her.  If she does, then i want to know if I can get a senior citizen discount!  If not, will she swipe my AAARP card.  
              Bless the working folk my people!

Teenage Pregnancy.

  I've got a friend who is taking night courses to become a teacher.  He was telling me the other day that one of his assignments was to interview someone who was affected by a teenage pregnancy.  I tell him that I've got a few people for him to interview but he declines.  Thats ok... He's younger then me and has a future.
   When he told me the topic, I got all worked up and started looking up information so I could be informed about this subject.  One thing I noticed is that when a girl gets pregnant as a teenager her chance of becoming something to society weakens every year with out her in the working world or by going to school to overcome her plight.
  Most girls that get pregnant before they graduate high school usually end up using the welfare system for most of their lives.  Most BOYS that get girls pregnant usually are out of their lives within 1 to 3 years.  Most of the males who impregnate these females are wanna be tough guys who either think they were outstanding athletes or thugs.  Just think of the fucks who think they are both.
   Most of these girls come from disfuntional families such as divorce or an abusive mother or father.  Most kids that are having kids come from a family that either is on the welfare or tries to cheat the welfare system.  Seems to me when I research this that these people are scumbags.  Why not get a fucking job and try to make a difference in today's society.  Most girls who have a child before or at the age of 18 usually have 2 or 3 more children before the age of 25.
   Most girls who have had teenage pregnancies are most likely to have had sex with 10 to 30 different partners.  Alot of these girls have sex with as many as 10 different partners while pregnant because they aren't sure who the father is.
   Theres a greater chance that these girls will be involved with some form of domestic violence within the first 2 years of having these children.  Most of the girls who get pregnant while in high school are using different forms of drugs the whole time they are pregnant.  Either with booze or grass.  Then you get the fucking retards that are using prescriptions and meth.  My lord these whores are angels in my eyes!  I guess all of these babies will be the next fucking Einstien!
    This gets me thinking..  If your a dumb cunt having sex and you get pregnant then what happens to the unborn child as you smoke dope, drink like a fish, either smoke meth or take medicinals?  If I'm thinking right, theres a chance that this child will be fucked up beyond all control.  Most likely some hyper ass little fuck who will be taking remedial courses till they graduate high school at the age of 32.
    Most babies that are under the influence of drugs have as must  chance of success as a fucking gnat.  Remember this people.  I've been studying this hard and I've come to this conclusion.  Some girls who get pregnant will make it with a proper support system.  The ones who have fucked up parents or have fucked up morals when it comes to abusing their bodies while being pregnant will never amount to shit!
    If by chance you have a pregnant girlfriend or a pregnant daughter do me this favor and make sure there is a support system for not only this girl but for this unborn baby.  Do not let this mother to be abuse her body with booze and dope.  Make sure she gets all the help she can with doctors and such.  This unborn child is something special... It's not something that can be put up on a pedestal and tossed around like it's the second coming of Christ.  Don't be fucking retarded and think this kid will end world poverty.  The chances are that I'm going to end up supporting this kid till I'm dead!

Hottest t.v. moms and other babes.

  I was saddened to hear that t.v. icon Barbera Billingsly passed away the other day.  Along with Tom Bosley, two of the greatest t.v. parents are now in rerun heaven.  Barbera was the mother to Wally and Beaver.  The wife of Ward Cleaver.  This fanstastic cast was part of the hit t.v. show "Leave it to Beaver."
  My take on this whole thing is how hot June Cleaver was.  She'd dress real conservative. The way any good housewife of the 1950's would.  You know she voted republican and secretly desired Dwight D. Eisenhower and his tough guy war ways.  She'd look at the nightly news on her black and white t.v. and get as wet as a fucking bathtub when she seen President Eisenhower on the tube.
  Even though they slept in separate beds, you know she'd sneak during the middle of the night just to taste her ole hubby Ward's cock.  Then there was The Petry's.  You know the family from "The Dick Van Dyke Show."  Rob and Laura were a happening couple.  Rob wrote for a t.v. show in New York City as Laura kept the house nice and cozy in the suburbs.  We never got to see it but you know there were nights when Rob got home to find Laura sipping on a martini while fingering her pussy.  My lord Rob was a lucky man!
   Now i'm flipping around the channels looking for classic reruns.  Next thing I know I hit jackpot.  Gilligan's Island!  4 dudes stranded on an deserted island with 3 chicks.  Ok. ok. ok.  Mrs. Howell wasn't really a chick.  She was this old crusted up cunt who aint had cock in like 25 years.  Trust me when I say this.  She had urges though!  I noticed how she kept checking out Gilligan's ass all the time.
  The best part of the whole show was you had two of the hottest t.v. chicks of all time!  There was the Hollywood starlet Ginger.  My lord she was smokin hot!  Fire red hair and legs all the way to her ass.  Then there was the amazing beauty Mary Ann.  She had the hottest body of any Kansas country girl  you could ever find!  Mary Ann portrayed a virgin sort of gal on this t.v. show.  We all know that Gilligan needed to bone her and you know that she wanted that skinny little fuck to do it.  It just never happened is all.
   Now here's my theory....  Mary Ann knew she wanted Gilligan but Ginger stopped her from doing him.  Ginger took her Hollywood talents and taught Mary Ann how to eat pussy.  Seems pretty simple to me.  You know them two hotties were banging like a screen door during a hurricane!  Swapping pussy like it was going out of style.
   Mrs. Cunningham from Happy Days.  I'd would of fucked her.  I have this feeling that she never wore panties.  Just a hunch on my part I guess.  Barbera Eden from "I dream of Jeannie".. Lord have mercy I think she was the reason I had my first wet dream.  We'll leave it at that.  What about the whores from "Charlies Angels?"  Good lord I would have loved to laid in a pile with these hot asses.
   "Wonder Woman?"  I have this feeling she could have suck started a Harley.  Bionic Woman?  Trust me when I say this.  She'd fuck you!  NOT!  You fucking her.   What about Micheal J. Fox's mom on Family Ties?  I would have fucked her silly until she admitted she was a lesbo.  Then I would have fucked her even more to return her to the other side!
     Last but not least!  My secret crush of all time when it comes to t.v. hotties.  You know who I'm thinking of...  Admit it!  You would have ate her pussy too.  I'm talking about Granny from  "The Beverly Hillbillies".  I would have stuck her more times then a fucking pin cushin!  I bet when she took her teeth out she could suck some major cock.  My lord I miss the old days when these hotties roamed the t.v. world.  God bless T.V. Land!