Monday, October 11, 2010
The art of oral sex.
There different types of sex. There's the old standard vaginal style (I cant believe I said vaginal!) Anal. (Women love this they just dont want to admit it!) Then theres the oral factor!
With oral sex, you have one option. Using your mouth and tounge! Now to the straight up facts about oral sex. The number one word used for oral sex is this....Either giving or getting head. Makes tons of sense to me!
When it comes to women giving oral sex, there are few different phrases used. "Giving head" "Sucking cock" "blowjob" "rimjob" "hummer" "gobblingoo" and last but not least......"giving face".
Now when a male gives oral sex to a female, it's called this.... "Eating pussy" "sucking cunt" "giving face" "doing the toungue"..... Now to the art of giving head! If your a girl reading this, please read careful! I'm a guy and I know how I want my cock sucked. SO LISTEN UP!
First of all be gentle with my cock. Don't think the motherfucker is silly putty! Never ever forget the balls! These fuckers aren't a twin family living on their own. They belong with the cock. All three of them hang out together! Nothing less nothing more! Do me this favor. If your blowing my cock, gently run your fingernails up and down my yamsac. If by chance you want to squeesze them be gentle! Nothing pisses me off more then when a chick is sucking my cock making me feel good then decides to yank or squeeze my sac! I'll punch you in the top of your fucking head if that happens!
Run your toungue up and down the bottom of my crank! Lick the bottom of my cockhead. Now if you do that, I know your trying to please me! Slowly suck the head of the cock! Now if you do that, your a true lady! God bless you and your mother for teaching you good skills of the blowjob!
Last but not least...... Let me know if you want me to cum in your mouth! Don't tease my cock and then pull that fucker out of your mouth so I blow all over my parents curtains! LET ME KNOW!
Now for the girls! Listen up dudes! Here's something I know well. I know alot of things but I know this better then most! First of all gentlemen! Respect the pussy. If you don't, the pussy can make your life a living hell. If you don't know it by now let me tell you. The pussy controls the world! If not the world, then your life if your in a relationship. Pussy will make you steal, lie and kill for it! When I say this I say it for this reason! Because I know!
Now to the art! First of all if the girl of your sexcapade doesn't have her panties off do this. Slowly slide them panties off. Take your time. The fabric of the panties running down her legs will give her goosebumps. After you get them off, slowly slide your fingers up and down her inner thighs! If she aint quivering by now she soon will be!
Now it's time to pay attention to her inner thighs! First of all get your hands off of your johnson! We aint got time for that now fuckers!
Time to slide your toungue near her pussy. Don't hit that spot yet just tease it! If you want to grab her ass thats o.k.! Now hit that spot! Lick that fucker till she's calling out Nelson Mandela's name! If by chance you see some white cottage cheese shit or something yellow, back away! Back away slowly! I mean real fucking slow dudes! Then when your backed away call the goddamn Animal Control Center! Her pussy might have rabies! Don't take chances and be a hero to finish her off!!! Call Animal Control now!
If you have to, let her know you like her and all of that shit! Just never EVER call her again. That pussy will make u cry at a moments notice. All I ask my friends is this............ Take time to make time for her pussy or his cock. Just don't get all horny and find yourself getting rabies shots! Check out the merchandise before your still your mouth or tounge on it!