Saturday, October 16, 2010

The Heisman Race

   It's pretty much halfway through the college football season and we are still trying to figure out the front runner for the Heisman Trophy.  The early report was the outstanding freshman from The University of Michigan.  His name is Denard Robinson.  I'm sorry to say this Denard.  You aint shit.  I mean your fast and all.  You can run like a motherfucker escaping prison. (maybe that will in your future.)
   You can pass somewhat.  From what I seen today vs. The Iowa Hawkeyes, your not that good.  First thing here.  Cut your goddamn hair.  I dont give a fuck if your hair is a tribute to Bob Marley.  I don't give a fuck if you smoke weed to Bob Marley's memory. Cut the fucking hair son!  It'll cut some time off of your already fast 40 time.
 Give yourself a couple of years to mature at the quarterback position then call me.  Just don't call collect from prison boy.  Terrell Pryor of THE Ohio State Buckeyes.  My lord son you can ball with the best of them.  My question is..... "You going to be able to take your game to the next level?"  I've gotta give you credit.  You sir are one big motherfucker!  If you can keep up the fight and stay undefeated with a number 1 ranking going into the Bowl Season, you will carry home the Heisman.  IF not, you might be fucked.
    Kellen Moore Qb. Boise State.  Fuck off!  You play for Boise State.  I dont give a fuck who you are or how good your team is...... Move to a power conference and play someone bitch!  Till then, shut the fuck up!
Taylor Martinez Qb. Nebraska.  I just watched you get your #5 ranking go down the tubes and you suck some super shit against the Longhorns of Texas.  When you get some hair on your nuts then we'll talk to about your future.  Till then, have fucking fun in the BIG10.
    Andrew Luck. Qb. Stanford.  Your games are on to late for me so fuck off.   LaMicheal James Rb. Oregon.  My lord son you can run the ole pigskin!  Your running like some fuckhead who just stole a grand from some old bluehaird bitch at church.  Keep up the good work son!
    Cameron Newton Qb. Auburn.  Now let me tell you about Auburn.  I fucking hate Gene Cheesedick the head coach of Auburn.  That doesnt mean I hate his qb.   Cam your one hell of an athlete with tons of potential who might make one hell of a run for this trophy!
   Now for my sleeplers.  What about John Clay the rb from Wisconsin?  This cocksucker will hit you so hard your asshole will bleed for months.  I hate to say it but if he keeps winning like he does.  How about Ricky Stanzi qb from Iowa?  All he does is win.  Yes he might throw some fucked up pass for an interception but like i said the long haird hippy puke still wins!  Thats what counts people!
    LaMarcus Murrey rb Oklahoma?  This motherfucker just broke a 10,000 year old touchdown record at Oklahoma.  Enough said!  He's got game!  What about Brandon Broyles wr. Oklahoma?  This fucker had 13 receptions in the first half alone vs. Iowa State.  Even though the Cyclones suck it takes a man to catch that many passes in one half.
     Now to get off of my rant and give my up to date opinion of who deserves the shot at the Heisman Trophy.
      1. Terrelle Pryor.  Even with a loss at Wisconsin he looks the best so far.
      2. Cameron Newton.  This juco transfer can make a difference for any team.  He might take Auburn to the promise land with his play.  GOD I HATE GENE CHEESEDICK!
      3.  Mark Ingram.  Last years Heisman winner could sneak up and bite some ass again this year.  He is by far the best runningback in the country today.
      4.  LaMicheal James.  Give him his day against some true opponents and he'll always shine.  Could be the sleeper of the bunch!
      5.Denard Robinson.  He's just a baby.  Let him learn his craft and he could be quite honestly the first 3 time winner of the Heisman.  He's going to be fucking good!
   Kellen Moore!  Stop bothering me son.  I dont give a flying fuck if you beat Wisconsin/whitewater/holyspirit catholic/methodist  66 to 0.  Your going to always be a puke to me!  Play someone then we'll talk bitch!

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