In my profession, I sometimes have to deal with Amish customers. That's ok.. There money is as good as anyones. My problem and bitch about the Amish is the way they think their shit doesn't stink. If you ever have to deal with them, you'd understand what I'm talking about.
They come to my place of employment the other day. Thats ok... Spend your money motherfuckers! The problem is that they came at closing time. Now this pisses me off. The motherfuckers don't have a goddamn clue about time. Wanna know what Zekeial? I always know what time it is! Do you not understand fucker that i wanted to get home and watch some NFL action? Oh, thats right... You don't understand... You don't have a fucking T.V.! You non using electricity motherfuckers need to figure out my ways!
Here's another thing that pisses me off. These big ass hat wearing motherfuckers don't pay taxes! Now this pisses me off like no other. They buy all this property and decide to stick a church in the middle of the farm... Guess what? Churches don't pay taxes!
So all this land they've been able to buy is considered church property. FUCK YOU AMISH!
They have their own language when they want. If whitey comes around they start speaking this beezelbub bullshit so I can't understand. Thats ok... I've got one statement for you... "Suck my cock!"
They constantly use their neighbors. "Well mister we can't get to town today. Can you drive all 44 of us so we can buy our goods?" Fuck them! Feed the fucking horses and get your fucked up asses on the road by 6am... That way you can have your shopping done by 4pm. Simple as that motherfuckers!
Next bitch..... You are some stinking motherfuckers. I don't know what your problem is... Oh thats right. You don't have running water. Jesus fuckers! Take a goddamn bath for once.. Infact do it daily! I don't give a shit if you have to chop down a fucking forest to get logs for burning wood to heat your water! Just fucking do it! Ya'll got some serious funk going on!
Next on my list..... How come you fuckers don't grow a full beard? What if I cant grow a beard? Am I kicked out of your cult? Do i get taken out back and be-headed? Be some fucking men and grow the fucking beard or shave the fucking thing off completely! Ya'll look really fucking stupid!
Whats really underneath them homemade dresses the gals wear? Wanna know what? Some sick ass funk growing down in their pussy region! Wanna how I know? The motherfuckers don't bathe! Take a bath and was that monkey up girl!
What do they do when they are ragging? Do they shove a corncob up their twats to stop the bleeding? Jesus people get your shit straight! What about the sex lives? Do they break out some horsetail shears so they can trim up her pussy?
I mean for Christs Sake you've got pussy hair up to their tits and down to their knees..... How in God's name do you even get a cock in there? It's like trying to part the red sea! You think Amish Gal Helen is going to ever give or recieve some head? Fuck no she aint! The fucking smell would knock any man down!
Last but not least! Get your fucking horse drawn carriages off the goddamn road. I'll take my fucking SUV and run over that piece of shit jackass driving it! You need to understand that people drive 55 miles per hour. Not driving 3 miles per hour! Get your shit together!
GODDAMNIT!!!! I just remembered............ The fucking amish do not have computers. Now I really hate your asses!