Wednesday, October 6, 2010

The best and worst mascots in college football

   There's a few things in this world I love... They are family, cooking, beer and college football.  I'm thinking that my Thursday night is going to be kinda of exciting because the feared Nebraska CornHuskers will be playing the Kansas Jayhawks.  GOD above knows I love football!
    Then I get to thinking.... What the fuck is a cornhusker?  Is that a male f that likes to call his shaft a piece of corn?  Then when horny he husk's it?  The nickname of Jayhawks comes from the term Jayhawker.  Which in Kansas during the civil war was a term meant for a guerilla fighter.  I understand that shit... Still can't figure out what the fuck a CornHusker is though.
   DeamonDeacons of Wake Forest?   Is this an evil minister?  If so, why the fuck would you name your team this?  You aint scaring me fuckers!   Vanderbilt Vandy's.... This college was founded by the rich and powerful Vanderbilt family.  Who the fuck cares!   What the hell is a Vandy?  Was that your pet dog's name?  Get some fucking balls and name the team right!
    UCLA Bruins...  I know what a Bruin is... It's a goddamn bear.  Name the team the Bears then fuckheads.  On thats right.. Cal's nickname is the Bears. Get some fucking balls and beat up Cal... Cal's a fag name anyway!  What the hell is a Hawkeye?  I know what a Hawk is... Just can't understand the eye thing.  Is this eye supposed to make me shit myself?  I dont fucking think so!
    Now a name like the Wolverines.. Thats a fucking nickname.  A rabid Wolverine will fuck your shit up!  Same with a Badger.  Now a Gopher.. Fuck him!  I'll shoot his ass and make him lunch.  Michigan State Spartans?  There are no Spartans in Michigan so suck me.
    What the hell is a Nitany Lion?  Is that a pussy?  I thought so!  Gators, Seminoles and Hurricanes.. They kinda scare me.... Unless your the Tulsa Golden Hurricanes.  There are no hurricane's in fucking Oklahoma.  SO suck me!
    Is Auburn University a War Eagle or a Tiger?  Till you figure out which one your are, fuck off and die!  Infact Gene Chizik.. Your a straight up pole smoker!  Crimson Tide?  WTF?  Does that mean all of your cheerleaders are ragging on game day?  It's a Crimson Tide in the bathroom sportsfans!  WTF?
    Once again... Hawkeyes..  Still sounds like a ass bandits name.  Fuck the Hawks!  Now someone tell me what the fuck a Hooiser is.  It's probably some indian tribe which is ok..  My only problem is.... You dont see very many indians playing football.
    JackRabbit's..... Where I live, we shoot em.  Enough said.  Cardinals.... Aint no fucking Cardinal in the world going to win a fucking football game.  Fuck any cardinals!   Panthers... Kinda scares me... SO, it's ok.. Horned Frogs?  Now seriously... What the fuck kinda name is the Horned Frogs?  If I'm wearing boots, I'll step on that shit and kill it.  Name change please!
    Boise State Broncos.... Nickname is kinda cool.  Just one problem.  You play on a fucking blue field!!!  Thats not football you bunch of fucktards!  Jesus Christ!  Grow some fucking grass and become someone!  You my friends make me wanna fucking puke!  Blue fields... Lord I hate this school!
    Cyclones.... Thats kinda like a tornado.... Tornado's are known to hangout in Iowa.. SO I'm cool with this one.  Last but not least... The by far coolest college mascot nickname.... The University of South Carolina GAMECOCKS!   Now that motherfucker is manly!   I wish my cock were game at all times!  Even better they shorten it all the time....COCKS!   I can hear the announcer....  Cocks drive deep in the hole.  Cocks are looking to penetrate now.  Lord I kill myself!  UP WITH THE GAMECOCKS!!!!


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