I've got a few things to share for all of my college bound friends. It's about the economics of drinking beer. Rule #1.... Beer rocks! Rule #2... Beer costs money! Now here comes the economics of drinking beer as told to you by a professional beer drinker.
I know that some beers taste better then others. Thats a given. Thats ok if your living off of mommy and daddy's money. (If you are, your pretty much a fucktard!) Get a goddamn part-time job and contribute to society assholes!
Now back to drinking beer on the cheap.. I've been known to have a few now and then. Long story short.... I've got some experience! The more beer you drink, the more it costs. Thats the first rule of economics. I've been looking over the costs of all beers and have come to the conclusion that Milwaukee's Best Light is the best beer out there with the cheapest price tag!
I've drank them all.... Coors Light, Miller Lite, Bud Light, ShinerBauck, Corona and countless others. The one thing I've noticed is... If you can chew up the first two beers of The Beast it tastes like the rest! I can go to the grocery store and buy a case of Coors Light for $17.99. I look over at The Beast and the sonofabitch is running like $11.99 per case. Now why in the fuck would I buy Coors Light then?
I just saved $6.00 goddamn dollars! Seems simple to me. I can get as fucking drunk as the Coors Light guy sitting next to me at one hell of price cheaper! Size it up assholes!!! I'm making money now! I save that 6bux and cash in my cans for $1.20 and I can now buy a 12 pack of the Beast! Hell people I've got more fucking beer!
Now it's time for the weekend party at the old apartment! You can go and buy a keg of Miller Lite for like $120.00. You can buy the same size keg of Milwaukee's Best Light for less then $90.00 dollars. Right now we've saved $30.00 bux.
At this party you can do one of two things. Either tell the gals the truth that the keg is The Beast or lie your asses off and tell her it's Miller Lite. What the fuck is she going to know? She's a goddamn girl for Christs sake! Girls don't know beer! (If they do, get the fuck away now!)
Take some paper and some fucking tape and put on the side of the keg.... "Miller Lite". Trust me when I say this.... SHE'LL NEVER GODDAMN KNOW!
When the little hottie starts doing keg stands with her mini-skirt flapping in the wind showing her thong wearing ass she'll think the whole time it was Miller Lite. My God college is great!! If by chance a ton of the girls leave the party... Then put another piece of paper with tape on it saying Coors Light! It's a brand new party boys!!!!! New chicks! New Beer! They will never know! If by chance a girl from the party before comes back and notices it.. Tell her she's drunk and you need to lay her down in your bed. You'll either get laid or thrown in jail!
Now that you know the economics of buying beer I wish you good luck my friends!