What to wear in college!

With this post, I'm going to try to help my brotheren in college learn how to dress for success.  This isn't highschool anymore morons!  This is about freedom and doing what you want!  Your mother can't tell you what to wear and how to wear it.  All she can do is sit back and hide her huge drinking habit.
   Dad's don't give a shit.  They just want you to graduate so they know that they're money didn't go to hell in vain!  Dad's do not give a shit if your partying or getting laid every night.  All they care about is you staying out of jail and not getting some slut pregnant!  Seems simple to me!
    Off of my rant and back to the basics of wearing clothes for college.  RULE #1!  Do not over wear the sweatpants!  Simple as this.... I'm a guy and I know who guys are.  We can be sitting in class and the next thing you know Allison Hannifan from "How I met your Mother" comes to mind.  We sit there spacing off and the next thing you know you've got a chubby!   There aint nothing worse then walking out of class and everyone that looks knows whats going on with you!  Noticed hard-ons in class arent cool!
    What if your professor is smoking hot not wearing a bra and has the smallest mini skirt on?  YOU do not want sweat pants on!  Lord people sweat pants only make you look stupid... It's either going to show you have no cock or your retarded for getting that hard!
     Do you think your 3" Willy the One Eyed Wonder Worm is going to get you a fucking A?  Most likely not asshole!
    Now to the cowboys.... Don't get me wrong... I like cowboys.  Just don't wear the tightest fucking pair of fucking Wranglers with the biggest goddamn beltbuckle possible!  You look fucking retarded!  If you have on one of them 45 gallon white hats, that makes you look like you should be in a retard home!  Most cowboys wearing Wranglers are big ole boys.  I dont give a fuck how you think tight jeans look, they look like absolute shit!  Get out of them now and stop being a fucktard!
    Don't wear loafer shoes.... It'll make you look like your 35 years old and other students will call you a fag behind your back.  Enough said about that!  Now to the whore wannabe's..... Do not wear high heels to class!  It only makes you look sluttier then you are....
     Don't wear mini-skirts!  Every  3 minutes your professor will be dropping his/her pen so they can look up your skirt.  (I pray above your wearing panties!)   Wear a bra!  Most of the time when chicks don't wear a bra, one of the tits are hanging lower then others.  Looks really fucking retarded!
     Now to chicks wearing blouses.... Button the cocksuckers up!  I don't want to see your tits flopping everywhere unless your ready to show me them as your going down on me!  Please try to act like a lady at all times.  (Unless your this welfare mom at 18 who has a kid but is a fucking retard just like her mother!)
     Long story short!  Go to school wearing mostly likely a t-shirt and some jeans with some nikes or something like that.  Don't be a stupid fuck or a whore... If you follow these rules, life will be o' so good!