Butts and boobies

  Holy moly!  Today I went and seen my favorite college football team in all of America!  I get up early and wait for my friends to pick me up.  I've got a couple of coolers of food and beer ready for the trip.  We get started.  We have to stop because I'm an idiot and forgot my coffee.  Thats ok!  I grabbed a paper so I can read up on how bad the world is today.
   We get back on the road and all is well.  We sit back and converse about football and how our favorite team can do this and that if they keep winning.
  We're driving along with tons of coffee and some breakfast sandwiches.  Our hopes are high but we are cautious about the upcoming game.  Our team just knocked off the #22 team in the nation last week.  Hell yeah! Fuck yeah!  We might be able to win this game!
  We finally get to our destination.  We set up camp.  Break out the grills and such.  Crack a few beers in the A.M.  NOT something we normally do.  We aren't Hawkeye fans here!  We drink socially!  WE DO NOT DRINK TO EXCESS!
   Camp is set up.... We kick back and start to eat and drink a few.  The next thing you know the college crowd starts to show up.  I'm all about college fun.  I'm all about young adults living life to the fullest!  They are bustling in and all is going well... Beautiful weather.  Beautiful people all around.  Then the coeds start showing up.  Oh Jesus above!
   Theres three of us.  I'm the youngest of the trio.  We're all sitting back wearing sunglasses.  Next thing I know my friend Dave says..... "Hey look at that ass on that chick!"  Being stupid as I am, I look.  Next thing you know were looking at each and every piece of ass walking by.  Mike says...."Thats an ass you can love forever".  I cringe.  Dave says.... I'd spank that ass every night!"  I cringe again.  Till..........  The heart shaped ass shows up.... I try to stop my sentence but it's to late.  NOW I know I'm going to hell for this but I have to admit I said it.  I say... (Lord please forgive me!)  "I'd swim a mile her of her shit to find out where it came from!"
  My lord I'm a fucking retard!  Next thing you know my boys are talking about boobies.  They are comparing who has the best cheerleader boobs in the NCAA!  I'm speechless till I crack my next beer.  They boys start talking about USC cheeleaders tits.  I say HEY!  What about Iowa State's cheeerleaders tits?!
  They laugh... I wonder why... They continue to tell me.  Every big school has hot cheerleaders with fake tits. Iowa State has ladies with natural tits.  They aren't t.v. ready!  I'm like what the fuck... THEN I look around.  ISU has some sweet asses... ISU has some sweet looking gals.. ISU has some nice legs... ISU has no TITS!
   As much money that is donated for athletic programs why can't we get our cheerleaders some fake ass tits!?    Thats my question for the day!  Till I get my answer, I'll just have to enjoy my gals with country asses!