As seen on TV!

   When I'm not selling outdoor power equipment, I help out in our store that sells just about every thing you can imagine!  We sell plumbing, electrical supplies, paint, outdoor power equipment parts and basic hardware.  I love retail with a passion almost as much as I do dealing with people when it comes to outdoor power equipment sales!
  Within the retail sales business, you find all sorts of shit that will sell.  Alot of the stuff we keep in stock is because of customers ordering it.  Our attitude is that if we don't have it and you want it, we'll order it then keep it stocked for the next customer.  Thats what keeps customers coming through the door each and every day.  Along with our employee's customer service!  
  Every once in awhile, we get some products in that I've seen on infomercials.  The Snuggy is an example.  The Revolutionary Grill Cleaner!  Thats another tv product!  What about shit thats not on tv.  How about a basic microwave?  I know we sell them.  It's just that everytime I turn on the tv, they are offering a better one!  What the hell do I do?  Should I cut off my local store and buy everything from the tv?  
   What do I do if I want to return this product?  DO I call the tv and try to get it returned?  Like that's going to fuckin happen!  What about that important revolutionary grill cleaner?  Is this supposed to be the greatest thing for grilling ever?  Fuck if I know!!  That's why I'm asking!  I love to grill so now I'm interested.  I look at this product and noticed it aint shit but a fucking scrubber.  Well hell, I can get the same thing with a cleaner and a brillow pad!  The Revolutionary Grill Cleaner is worth $17.99.  I can get a brillow pad and some cleaner for a total between the two for $8.99.  I do believe I fucking win!
   What about the people who come into stores and want a price match on shit they see on tv? If I don't have the product on the shelves, then fuck you!  How can I match this shit?  I've had little old (CRABBY) ladies wanting me to cut them a deal over something they bought off a goddamn tv commercial and when I can't, they get pissed and cuss me out.  Wanna know what I think?  FUCK YOU OLD LADY!  Maybe if your lucky, I'll come to your funeral soon!
  We sell Eden Pure Heaters.  We sell them at the same goddamn price as the infomercial and as found on the internet.  The cool thing is... We offer a warranty.  Yes, the other places offer a warranty also.  Our is better.  If you buy an Eden Pure Heater off the internet or off of the back of a truck selling them I want you to try and get your warranty taken care of by a human being.  IT WONT HAPPEN!  Trust me when I say this.  I've tried it many o' times for the place I work.
  Your going to have to either email or call the place where you bought it.  With us, you can bring the piece back in and if we can't fix it, we hand you a BRAND new one.  You won't find that anywhere!  Now the bitch of all of this.  We have people ordering heaters off of tv or the fucking internet.  Thats cool and such.  Till something might go wrong with it.  Now they want us to warranty it.  FUCK YOU PEOPLE!  
   For once in your life think!  We didn't sell it to you, so don't expect us to take care of your warranty issues with a fee!  Bitch all you want, I don't give a flying fuck!  
      Long story short.... Beware of As Seen On TV!