Friday, November 26, 2010

Black Friday!

  Who ever coined the term "Black Friday" I want to punch you in the goddamn face.  You sir/madam are a fucking idiot.  If you don't know about Black Friday let me give you a quick rundown.
  Black Friday is the biggest shopping day of the year.  It come's the day after "Thanksgiving".  It's when people come out to retail shops such as Wal-Mart, Target, RadioShack, K-Mart and other assorted stores to find the bargains of all bargains.  It's when stores have HUGE sales for the early Christmas shoppers.
   It's also a great marketing tool for these retail shops.  What they are putting up for sale are what they call "loss leaders".  They know they are going to lose money on the products they put up for sale hoping that when the customers are in the store they will buy other products to make up for the loss.  Thats where the stores make all of their money.
   The biggest attractions are sales of electronics.  It could be a t.v. or an ipod.  It could be Playstations or XBox systems.  Electronics are the biggest money maker for any retail store.  Best Buy makes billions on "OVER" priced merchandise.  If an electronic product costs $350.00 dollars, it most likely cost the retailer about $150.00 dollars.  Electronics are huge money makers!
  Now to my bitch and rant.  What kills me off about all of this Black Friday culture is how people schedule their holiday lives around it.  They will start Thanksgiving dinner early or later then normal for sleep time.  They will sit and look at coupons all day long figuring out what they want to get.  They bring in other shopper friends to make "teams" for better shopping.  They give each other lists of what to get then settle up later.
   I've seen people max out credit cards so they can get a fucking "Cabbage Patch Doll" that little Susie has to have!  I've seen people stand outside in sub zero weather for over 12 hours to have a chance to buy a fucking IPad. What the hell is going on here people?  I've seen people trampled going into a fucking Best Buy so they can buy the "next" big electronic device.  The funny thing is that 6 months from now that electronic device will half as much as it is priced now.  Thats how electronic retail works!
  I know it's a fun thing to do with family and friends but goddamn it's fucking dangerous at times.  People have died in the middle of the doorway trying to get in.  They have had their heads kicked in trying to get to the next big thing.  People are getting arrested every year for being retarded over Black Friday.  Assault is the biggest arrest.  Some people have been shot and killed after coming out of the store because they have the "it" toy.  To bad they had to die over a $55.00 item.
  I've seen people drive over 8 hours to get to that "Mega-Mall" just to have a chance that they could buy Little Brandon (who at 3 years old might be gay) the newest Ken doll.  What the fuck are you people thinking?  $2.754 per gallon for fuel and you drive your 1982 Toyota 560 miles for your 3 year old gay son's toy?  First of all you don't even know if the little fucker is even gay!  Second of all your driving 8 hours for a $45.00 dollar item.  Third of all your paying $2.754 per gallon for your vehicle that averages 21 miles per gallon.  Thats a grand total of 27 gallons of fuel.  After I get my calculator out and do some figuring, I've come up with a figure of $75.00 dollars spent in fuel one way for that fucking Ken doll!  You people are fucking retards!  
   Remember you have to go home sometime.  Thats another $75.00 dollars for the return trip.  Now your dumbass's have spent $150.00 dollars for that $45.00 dollar item!  Someone needs to kill you.  It's that simple.  At this point I know you wondering how come your homeless and have to use food stamps.  I need you to purchase a fucking mirror at the "mega-mall" and look into it.  I mean look deep into that mirror.  Now tell me what you see.  Can't figure it out?  Let me help your dumbass's.  You see a fucking idiot that shouldnt breed! Your seeing a fucking moron who thinks their 3 year old son is gay.  HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW IF HE'S GAY?  He doesn't even know what his penis is let alone another one's!
   Jesus Christ I hate people!  I hate Black Friday!  I hate retail shops!  I hate people who think they have a 3 year old gay child!  Wanna know what I'm calling next years "Black Friday"?  I'm calling it "Getting Drunk After Thanksgiving Day Celebration"!

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