Friday, December 17, 2010

Is Michael Vick working for minimum wage?

Welcome back to stardom Michael Vick.  Your an incredible athlete with outstanding talent.  The things you've done for the Philadelphia Eagles this season is just short of outstanding.  You've made head coach Andy Ried look like a fucking genius by letting go of the greatest quarterback in Eagles history, Donovan McNabb.
   The stud who came out of Va.Tech with all the credentials in the world.  He's drafted in the first round bye the Atlanta Falcons.  I've got to be real honest here.  Vick looks so much better in Eagles green then he did in the hideous uniforms that the Falcons wear.  Michael made an immediate impact for the Falcons.  Got them in the playoffs.  Got them far into the playoffs.  My lord above he's damn good.
   Then something went wrong.  I don't know if Michael got full of himself or if he had to many "advisors" on the payroll.  All I know is that something major went wrong.  The next thing we know is the Michael is being investigated for running a "dog fighting" operation.  What in God's name above are you thinking Michael?  For this, your an idiot.  Vick is found guilty of this bullshit.  Now Mike is going to do some hard time in prison for the next 18months.
   I've never been to prison but I can only imagine what goes on in the joint.  I don't give two flying fucks if he's Michael Vick or Andre the fucking Giant.  If someone wants to tickle your starfish while your in prison it's going to happen even you don't want it to.  A pretty boy like Mike with his millions made most likely got fucked with each and everyday he was in the joint.
   While serving time behind bars Michael files for bankruptcy.  I guess this gravy train has finally ran out of gravy.  A few months later Mike is out of prison.  He's got probation and community service to do.  He's long been released by the Atlanta Falcons.  He's pretty much broke.  What the hell you going to do now Mike?
   After some soul searching and shit like that Michael gets a call from the Philadelphia Eagles.  They bring him into backup future Hall -of - fame member Donovan McNabb.  Vick makes a few dollars.  The season ends and it's time to get ready for the next season.  The next season comes around and McNabb is traded to the Redskins.  Training camp starts and Vick is still a backup qb.  
   A miracle by the football god's sends the Eagles starting quarterback to the sidelines.  Now it's Vick's turn to see what he can do.  From this day on till now he has done nothing but be one amazing athlete.  He'll be up for NFL Player Of The Year.  He'll win the NFL Comeback Player of the Year Award.  He'll go to the Pro-Bowl.  Hell he might even make it to the Super Bowl.  It's been that kind of season for Michael!
  Congratulations Michael!  Nice comeback.  Let's hope you stay on the straight and narrow.  Here's where I get really interested.  It's about how this man is paying back society for his bad deeds.  Let's take a look.  This is all public record and I've been going over it for awhile now.
  Even if Vick wins all of these awards and maybe if by chance becomes a Super Bowl winner and gets a new contract.  He's fucked.  Simple as that.  He's fucked.  I don't give a shit how much money he is awarded in a new contract, he's fucked!
   Michael is paid 4.1 million per season under his current contract.  Now here's where it gets sad for Michael.  I haven't seen this much financial horseshit since the "Great Depression".  A condition of his bankruptcy is that he can't buy bullshit for him and his homie's.  He's got to be responsible with all of his financial dealings.
     Michael has to give the first 2/3rds of his earnings up to the IRS and his bill collectors.  He is allowed $4,250.00 a month for rent.  He's also given $475.00 per month to pay his car loan.(Funny thing is that he's getting a free vehicle for doing a commercial in New Jersey for a dealership)  Now he gets to pay his mommy.  This woman gets $2500.00 for doing absolutely nothing except squirting him out of herself.  I guess we need to make sure momma is taken care of at all times.  I call it money laundering myself.  
   Now with the rest of the money Vick gives over $800,000.00 to his lawyers, agent and to pay child support.  (Should have maybe kept your pecker in your pants Mike!)  His creditors get over $12 million over the next 5 years.  You better sign a guarenteed contract because if your ass gets hurt, your fucked big time!
  Alot of people are calling this cruel and unusual punishment towards Vick.  I say fuck him.  He killed harmless animals for nothing then a goddamn thrill.  Whats going to happen if Mike gets his ass kicked during a long run down the sidelines?  Is he going to get up and shake it off or is he going to end up on the disabled list wondering if he'll ever play football again? 
   I hope he has learned his lesson.  I don't think so though.  The stupid fucker just bought his girlfriend a $90,000.00 car the other day.  (HOW did this get past the IRS and such?)  It might be time to get on ebay and sell your hubcap necklaces you call jewelery.  It might be time to sell off one of momma's houses.  It might be time for your ass to grow the fuck up.   
   Let's hope you get your shit together and straighten the fuck up Mike.  If not, I'm going to laugh my ass off when I pull up to a McDonalds and hear you say...."Would you like fries with that?"

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