Sunday, December 19, 2010

Good times at the nursing home.

  Each and everyday we get older.  It's going to happen.  It's either you get older or die.  Your choice I guess.  1950's actor James Dean always said. "Die young and leave a good looking corpse."  I say fuck that.  I want to live a long life.  I want to see my kids get married.  I want to travel all around the country and different parts of the world. (Not the shit hole countries!)
   I want to see grandkids come into the world.  I want to have sex with a porn star.  I don't give a shit if she's 75 years old.  She's still a porn star!  I want to go to the World Series.  I want to go to the Super Bowl.  I want to go to the BCS National Championship!  I want to I want to i want to!  I dont give a fuck what it is to do i know I want to!
   I know deep down it's going to get the best of me.  I'm thinking in my late 70's to early 80's my wife and kids will move me to a nursing home.  I don't know if I'll bitch or not.  I mean if this place has a t.v. in my room with 300 channels I might be ok.  If this place lets me drink beer till I fall asleep, I might be ok.  If this place gives massages twice a week with a 25 year old hot asian chick, I might be ok.  If I can get this asian chick to give me blow job twice a week, I might move there today!
   All I know is that I'm going to be the biggest asshole, pervert in the center.  I can see some nurse coming in to check in on me.  I act like I'm asleep and as she's walking out of my room I look up and say.."You come in here again cunt I stick my pole in your asshole!"  If that doesn't get a rise out of her then nothing will.  On the other hand, if I'm nice to her she might give me a hand job while I'm trying to sleep.  I wonder if i give her money if that will help?
   I want to be that old guy who walks up behind that little fucker and slaps him in the back of the head.  As soon as I do that, I take his pudding.  Fuck him I say!!  Fuck him!  I want to be that old guy who you see standing in the corner and your wondering what the hell is he doing. Wanna know what I'm doing?  I'm taking a piss!  Just to piss off the fucking janitor!  If he would have been smarter, he wouldn't have been a goddamn janitor!  SO FUCK HIM!
   I want to be that old guy sitting in the "non smoking" section when I light up a cigar then proceed to flick the ashes into the next dudes coffee.  I want to be that old fart that takes a shit in a garbage can then blames it on Alzheimers Disease.  I want to be that old motherfucker who tries to stick his finger up every nurses ass as they walk by.  I'm just checking for diseases!  Thats all I'm doing!
   I want to be that old fucker that walks into another female patients room and rubs my yamsac all across her lips because she pissed me off at bingo!  Then I take pictures of it and send it to her kids via email.
   I want to be that old son of a bitch that acts like he's asleep and everyonce in a while sits up and yells to the Old Folks Home's Director.  "Your momma was a whore!"  "I slipped my cock into your momma's asshole!"  You want to make sure you keep life fun!  Thats what I'm doing here people!
   I want to be that old prick that paints his balls blue then calls in the first year nurses aid to help him.  At this time I pull the blankets down and show her my blue balls.  It's then i say to her.... "They've missed you!"
   I want to be that bastard who sits at the table pulling shit out of his pants and throwing it at the stage during karaoke night!  I want to be that old prick who calls his kids up in the middle of the night and begs them to release me from the dog pound!  Then when they show up to check up on me at the nursing home I ask them.... "Who's brought the beer to this party?"
   I want to be that dude who calls his brother who is 11 years younger up and yell into the phone..."MOM LOVED ME BEST!"  I want to be that guy who is sitting in his room then calls his elderly wife and tells her... "I bet you can still suck a mean cock!"  I want to be that grandpa who looks at his grandson and tells him.... "MY LORD ABOVE!  "Your new wife has some sweet tits!"  I want to be that granddad who looks at his other grandson's new wife and says.... "You mind if I lick her where she pees?"
   I want to be that one old uncle who sits at his nephews wedding and shouts out to the crowd.  "NICE ASS ON THAT BITCH!"
    Before I die, I want to be that old crazy motherfucker who gets out of bed just before  death is about to hit me.  It's then I pop some viagra and wait till it gets hard.  At the precise moment I run down the hall screaming at the top of my lungs as I'm holding my hard cock........  "I WANT YOU TO MEET SENIOR PEEPEE!"  "I WANT YOU TO MEET SENIOR PEEPEE!"  "I WANT YOU TO MEET SENIOR PEEPEE!"   
    My lord above I can't wait till I get old!


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