What I would do if I won the lottery.

  I'm a believer in the lottery system.  With it's proceeds, it underwrites alot of good things such as, helping schools, hospitals, towns and cities.  The proceeds can make a huge difference for different causes.  I play the "powerball" lottery every week. It's played two times a week and I make sure to play it atleast once a week.  I'd play it twice a week if I could remember.  For some reason I always remember to play it on Saturdays.
  I've won some really small lotteries.  Winnings such as $40.00 or so.  Mostly $10.00 to $20.00 bucks at a time.  My own father who plays like it's a fucking religion has won $100,000.00 in one shot.  He was so close to winning the whole fucking thing he about shit himself.  Infact I think my mother about shit herself and she's the calm one.  He had all the numbers except the powerball.  The powerball was only 1 number off of the one drawn.  Thats how fucking close he was to winning like $75,000,000.00 dollars.
   There's a few things I would love to do if i were lucky enough to win the lottery.  First things first, I'd build my beautiful wife the house of her dreams.  I'd buy her the car of her dreams.  I'd make her life as easy as it can get. She's the hardest working woman I've ever known or will ever know.  She would deserve everything she gets out of the lottery fund.
   I'd set up a fund for my children.  I wouldn't get nutty and buy them the world or anything.  I would just make sure that they had a secure life is all.  No one gave my wife or me a free ride and I'll be damned if we give our kids a free ride.  That teaches absolutely fucking nothing about work ethic and sacrifice!  I'd help my family retire.  My parents and mother in law are both retired but they aren't really retired.  I'd make sure that every bill they have would be taken care of.
   I'd send my mother in law out to California to see her brother for as long as she wanted.  I'd make sure her house was taken care of.  I'd have it professionally cleaned and new fixtures would be put in there.  I'd make hre retirement years something to remember.  For my parents I would take care of every last bill they had.  I'd send them all over the place to see family.  My mother is the youngest of 10 kids and my father is the 3rd oldest of 9.  We have family all over the country.  Might as well go and see them I say.
   My brother in law and his wife.  I'd take care of him.  Thats it.  I'd give him like $100,000.00 to live life like he wants.  For my sister in law.  Same thing!  Here's $100,000.00!  Have fun kid!    For my brother and his wife.  Same thing.. $100,000.00.  Figure out what you want to do with it and have fun.  Now for my nieces and nephews.  I put $100,000.00 to an account for both of you.  Let it draw some shit interest and then when you turn 21, it's yours for whatever you want.  Make sure you spend it wisely!
   Now to my charities.  I'm starting a homeless shelter!  In my small town people do not want to recognize it but we have a problem.  We have homeless and starving people!  I'm building a shelter and putting up $1million dollars to make it work!  I'm putting new clothes and food towards these people.  I will say this though.  If you fuck me and my charity up, your fucked yourself!  I will never forget bullshit!
   Now to my church....  I'll throw down $100,000.00 dollars to help you out.  DO NOT ask for more.  I've seen the books for over the last year and your fucking it up.  If you can't figure it out, then it's time to move on!  Now to the schools.  First things first.  I'd buy out the superintendents contract.  He's a fucked up individual that needs to go.  Everyone is afraid to talk shit to him or stand up to him.  I'm not.  When I get this money, I make him go away.
   I give $1million dollars to the general fund of the education department.  I will make sure that the teachers are taken care of first.  You cannot teach our children well if the teachers are treated like shit and hate coming to work every day!  Give the teachers an incentive program.  Make it worth their while to teach in our district!  NO administrator will have control over this money!  No administrator will receive any of this money!  It's for the teachers to use.
   I will put up $1million dollars for the activities department.  This includes all activities!  NOT JUST FUCKING WRESTLING!  All activities will be underwritten for their efforts.. One condition is that they have to try and raise their own funds.  Set a financial goal before the year starts and see where your at.  If you fail to gain that goal, the moneys I have donated will cover the expenses.  NO ADMINISTRATORS will have anything to do with it!
   Now I'm down to about $35 million and I don't give a fuck.  I'm having a party!