Friday, January 7, 2011

Biscuits and Gravy!

  Biscuits and gravy.  My lord above it has to be the most perfect comfort food ever.  I grew up with a southern belle for a mother who can cook like no other motherfucker on this earth.  Not trying to biased here, just being honest as all get out.
   I can remember waking up on a Sunday morning and rubbing the sleep out of my eyes then my nose kicks into overdrive.  What the hell is going on?  I smell biscuits and gravy!  I'm thinking that my momma really loves me now!  That is till I walk out to the kitchen and notice my little brother shoveling that into his mouth like it was a fucking snowstorm and he worked for the DOT clearing a major highway!
    He wonders 25 years later why I always walking by him and slapping him in the back of the fucking head.  Theres your answer asshole!  Mom always knew how to make my day better.  If she knew I was having a bad day, she would call me to dinner and the next thing I knew I was sitting at the table with a full plate of biscuits and gravy!  My lord above that woman loved me with all of her heart.  (when she wasn't feeding my asshole brother biscuits and gravy!)
   I can remember coming home after a girlfriend and I had broken up. (most likely I put it to her!)  Mom always knew what to do.  Biscuits and gravy!  When I score my first touchdown and wanted to celebrate.  Biscuits and gravy!  When I hit the homerun to win the game.  Biscuits and gravy.  When Aunt Shirley went to the grave to soon... Biscuits and gravy!  The time I stubbed my toe in 3rd grade and thought I was dying.  Biscuits and gravy!
   When I took my first girl to prom, Mom made sure to make us... Biscuits and gravy!  When Dad came home after a 3 day drunken binge and was bitching.  Guess what?  Biscuits and gravy!  When former President Ronald Reagan was shot, Mom soothed my soul and worrying about the affects on the United States of America with biscuits and gravy!
   When I got married my mother tried to smother the wedding cake with biscuits and gravy!  If my crazy wife wouldn't have been around, we would have had biscuits and gravy covered wedding cake!  When my Uncle Terry passed away, Mom made sure to cover the casket with biscuits and gravy!
    When all four of her grand babies were born, she tried to lather them in biscuits and gravy! You need to understand people, she's a southern belle and biscuits and gravy rank at the top of anything southern!
   When my brother had his hip replaced, she help slide the new one in with biscuits and gravy!  My lord this woman is a fucking saint!  When Pops had a triple by-pass, they pumped out 33 gallons of biscuits and gravy!  When Mel my wife turned 44 today guess what she did? She made biscuits and gravy!  I've been known to take Momma's gravy pan and masterbate with it.  I don't really masterbate, I kinda just fuck the gravy!  I love Momma's biscuits and gravy!
         Remember this people!  Biscuits and gravy make the world go around.  Thank you Momma!!!!

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