Friday, January 7, 2011

Are you really ready for the NFL Jimmy?

  Jim Harbaugh signed a 5 year 25million dollar contract today to become the new head coach for the San Francisco 49ers.  Harbaugh leaves behind one of the top teams in college football, the Stanford Cardinal.  Harbaugh takes over a long storied program that has hit hard times in the last few years.
    This is a team that has lost it's identity.  This was once a team of champions.  Now it's a team of utter shit. No more Bill Walsh and his west coast offense.  No more Joe Montana, Steve Young, Roger Craig, Jerry Rice and countless other pro bowlers.
     When you signed this contract Jim, you became the sole owner of futility.  You have very little to work with.  I hope your charm and work ethic can turn this program around.  Plus your going to need a shit load of luck on your side.  Your background will help.  Your the son of a legendary college football coach.  You have a brother John coaching the Baltimore Ravens in the NFL already.  You played in the NFL for 5 teams yourself.  You know the NFL!
   My biggest concern is that you might find some spoiled ass rotten fuck head NFL superstars telling you to stick it up your ass when you tell them to run wind sprints. What are you going to do then?  This isn't the college game where you actually "own" your players and their futures.  You can't threaten them with taking away their pro chances if they don't perform.  
   Next concern is your career college coaching win/loss record.  You were an assistant for a bit in the NFL and then became head coach for "non-scholarship" San Diego where you played the likes of Drake University out of Des Moines, Iowa.  Not to impressive there in my opinion.  Next you move onto Stanford University.  The first two years your team absolutely sucks.  Then you have most likely the best quarterback in the nation starting for you and you pull out 8-5 and 12-1 records.  Nice job Jimmy.
    It's here where I worry.  The last two season's with Andrew Luck as your starting qb, Stanford goes 20-6.  The first two season's you went 9-15 without Andrew Luck.  I have a feeling that David Carr or Alex Smith aren't going to get your team anywhere playing quarterback for the 9ers.  
    If I'm you Jim I get in Andrew Luck's ear and tell him to go pro. Then you trade up to where you can draft his ass.  Then when he is in camp, make him the fucking starter.  Your going to lose the first year or two but this kid is good enough by his 3rd year he could have you in the playoffs.  Hell, he might have you in the playoffs the first year because you play in the weakest division in the NFL.
   I know your a very competitive person by nature.  That's a good thing sir.  Your going to have to be very competitive to succeed at this job.  I know you had alot of pressure coaching against Drake University and such.  You had more pressure at Stanford.  The Stanford pressure isn't even a cunt hair close to what kind of pressure your going to get with San Francisco.  Every motherfucker and his poodle will be all over your ass.  Your family will be scrutinized for their every move.  Are you man enough to handle that Jim?  I hope so sir.
   If and when you play your brothers team the Baltimore Ravens, and he kicks your ass are you going to go crying to dear old Dad that John is picking on you?  I pray to God above you don't!  My last bit of advice Mr. Harbaugh.  If things don't work out in San Francisco, make sure to keep your phone book full of friends in the college ranks.  You'll soon be needing their numbers and references for a new job.
   Do I think your a good coach?  Maybe.  You haven't proven anything yet.  Do I think you'll make it as a NFL coach?  NO.  You don't have the make up for it.  Learn from this mistake and get back into the NCAA game.

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