Sunday, September 26, 2010

To drink beer or not to drink beer?

  Because I'm pretty much fucking retarded, I've been searching the internet for stupid shit.  I keep searching and searching... Next thing I know I come across this picture to our left.
   It's a picture of an October Fest beer festival in Wisconsin.  Thats all good and such.  My problem is that I love beer!  When I say that I love beer, I'm telling you I'd give up my kids for a case of great beer.
  I so bad want to go to an October Fest somewhere.  This October Fest in Wisconsin seems cool.  Plenty of brats grilling along with saurkraut.  Lord knows I love brats and saurkraut.  My problem with this whole October Fest in Wisconsin is this..... When I want refills in my beer mug do I ask for some waitress that I'll have to tip like $10bux go and get me a beer or do I saunter over and get a refill from the overflowing cock of beer?  If I'm dead broke and don't want to fill my cup do I gently suck on this beer cock?  If I'm sucking on this beer cock, do I stroke the beercock's balls?  If I'm wanting some extra head on my beer do I finger the beercock's asshole?
     Is the beercock pissing or blowing a beer nut?  I mean if I'm going to get personal with this beercock, I want answers bout what it is!  If I blow this beercock enough, will it call me in the morning?  Will it remember my name?  How many people have sucked off the beercock before I have?  Does this foaming beercock have diseases that I need to worry about?  Do I need to get some kinda of shot before I go to October Fest in Wisconsin?
   Does this beercock have a problem with fumunda cheese?  Do I have to tickle the beercock's balls as I'm getting my fill?  
  I mean I LOVE beer but do I want to really become a whore to a beercock?  The choices are to much to handle.  What about if I just kiss the beercock?  Will that still fill my cup?  Does the beercock have a number I can call if I'm not satisfied?  How many beers does the beercock fill?  What if I'm the last person wanting my cup filled...  At this time will the beercock be shooting dust?
     Lord help me!!!!  I need an answer now sir/madam!  Do I just kick back or get freaky and suck the beercock?  Trust me when I say this..... I dont think I'll be going to Wisconsin soon!

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