Thursday, September 23, 2010

The rules of college dating.

   Tonight my friends it's time for me lend a hand to all my brothers living the college dream.  College is fantastic!  You've got classes.  You've got parties...  You've got weekend athletic events...  You've got friends that you will meet everyday and hopefully keep for the rest of you lives.
   Now to the real reason of this blog.   It's about meeting someone of the opposite sex.  You can meet her at the dorm party.  You can meet her at the dorm across the street party... You can meet her at the dorm party in the next state.  It doesnt have to be about the dorm parties!
    Now listen up homies!!!!  Rule number one... Do not!  I repeat!  Do not!  Be a straight up douche when meeting the females.  Talk normal.  Don't be some kid all jacked up on redbull.  Be smart about what you say to the ladies.  98% of all women want somebody with brains.  The other 2% you call when your girl is gone for the weekend!  (Disregard that!!!!)
    Let me give you the rules in a 10 through 1 format.

10.  Don't be a douche.  (How you going to get some play if your a homo?)
 9.    Respect her thoughts.  (Most likely she's smarter then you so you might as well learn.)
 8.   Tell her how you love animals.  (I dont care if you killed the neighbors cat!  Tell her you love em!)
  7.    Until you have a relationship pay for the dates!  (I dont give a fuck if you have to sell blood, sell your car, cash in cans or drop a load at the sperm bank!  Pay for the first few dates.  Make sure you wash your hands!)
 6.   Don't look at other gals.  (I know there are going to be other chicks to look at.  Some will have a sweet rack or an ass you can bounce quarters off of.  JUST DONT LOOK!)
 5.   Tell her how much you love your mother.  (I dont give a fuck if your mother gave you a clothes hanger enima for the last 13 years of your life... Tell the chick you love your momma bad!)
 4.   Chicks dig poetry.  (If you have to rip of poems from whomever, do it!  Chicks dig poetry!)
 3.   Always tell her she looks nice. (I dont give a rats fat ass if she's bloated and has zits covering her whole fucking face. Tell her she's hot!)
 2.  Answer her calls.  (Until you figure out she's a nut or psycho, always answer her phone calls!)
 1.  LAST BUT NOT LEAST!!!!!!!   Never Ever on the first date ask this to a new prospect!
                       "You mind if I lick you where you pee?"  Just dont do it!!!!!  Back away from that shit boys!!!!
                                                 Feel free to comment!

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